30 September 2011

Human Hypocrisy/ Delusional Life

I have noticed that the most common characteristic in human beings is hypocrisy, mainly towards themselves. And here is why...

Every person has the need to delude themselves during most (if not all) of their day. It starts in the morning, when you pretend to have woken up from what you consider a great sleep and you feel excitement for the day, or more specifically for the job you have "chosen". You continue with your hypocritical skills developing slowly when you ask you colleagues about their day, if they feel that the new coffee maker in the office is better and more efficient than the old one or harder to operate, and if they would prefer Brazil over Cuba for their next destination.

Your hypocrisy unfolds at the meeting with your boss, when he asks if everything is OK and whether you are having any difficulties for which he could provide some sort of help (since he is the greatest boss ever) and you reassure him that everything is perfect and problems at work are not something to worry about since you all work very well together, kind of like brothers and sisters. During lunchtime you hypocrisy takes over when it's time to go home and you can only think of all the unfinished to-dos you still have on your list and the importance of not letting down your boss and colleagues, who you are very fond of. You, as a master in hypocrisy, think of how much better you could work for the sake of the company if you could concentrate just a bit more.

You immediately forget about that since your hypocrisy needs to be focused elsewhere; while you walk towards your brand new Audi car, which you admit needed some intelligent use of your hypocritical skills in order to persuade the bank to give you the money, right? You drive towards home and you now think of the wonderful 4 bedroom house that you designed and built from scratch just like you BOTH always dreamt of, without compromises to each other's tastes - you see, everything is similar, even your tastes in decor. The dinner you are about to have with your perfect -middle class- family which consists of two adults and 3 wonderful, angelic, young ones, is surely the best since your favourite take-away restaurant never lets you down. Your hypocrisy needs to work a bit more now, when during dinner you can't wait to hear about your partner's day at work, your children's homework, and the shared decision about the colour of the new living room curtains.

But don't worry, because your drama doesn't stop here! You still need to persuade yourself that you and your partner are perfect for each other, since it was love at first sight, and since everybody always says how you are the ideal couple. This persuasion process has to be implemented because the day is at its end and you are tired after you had to work so hard on being hypocritical. If you don't do it though, how could you possibly lie on this gigantic bed with your other half who, by the way, still interests you sexually not only due to the 100 carat ring you both carry on your 4th finger and not due to the state/church document that's stuck in some drawer (where the hell is this document?), but because this person is the person you first fell in love with during your teenage years and they haven't changed a bit in the last 20 years you've been together, and you still enjoy each other's company.

By now, not only your hypocrisy has taken over your whole being, but maybe now you are the definition of hypocrisy in the last edition of the Oxford dictionary, since the only person you can think of while you make love to your partner is that model - what's her/his name again?- in volume 24, page 13 of a magazine that a friend sent you in one of those "very much welcomed" e-mails that you receive at work, a job which every single cell in your body hates (because you have always wanted to be a pilot- what the hell are you doing in an office?) because of the anxiety it causes you every day after waking up from a sleep full of nightmares which usually include your partner driving the Audi with the young ones at the back, leaving your favourite restaurant (after they have picked up the usual shitty food you eat every single night- aren't there any other freaking restaurants?) and driving towards your house, where all your colleagues (for whom you wouldn't really care if they went to hell since they only consume precious oxygen) are waiting to surprise you for your 4oth birthday (who told them that you wish to celebrate one more miserable day of your pathetic life?), and instead they end up crashing with high speed on your 4 bedroom house (which you passionately hate because you haven't even chosen its location) while you are standing 3 metres away laughing because the only thing you can think of right now is how well the new red living room curtains (which you haven't chosen either) go with the bloodshed you see in front of you!

This is how you live a successful, delusional life.

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