Ozzy: Rock Legend or Just a (Old) Man?

I have just watched the documentary "God Bless Ozzy Osbourne" which was apparently directed by his son Jack Osbourne. It has been characterised from monumental to insightful and generally received good reviews.

While watching it, I couldn't help but feel proud of myself for choosing to (still) listen to and admire such great rock legends as Ozzy, Lemmy, Keith Richards and many others. I don't know what it is about, but I have realised through the years what all heavy metal documentaries portray as the "heavy metal family" pride (well sort of). I mean, if somebody asked me, after watching the documentary with me, what I found fascinating and remarkable about the story and the rock legend in question, I would honestly go mad! Especially if they started arguing with me about the standard clichés of drug addiction in Rock N' Roll. Really, you can't see it?!

Still! Despite me going me(n)tal toward an unsuspecting bystander with probably a more objective critical view on things (and probably a keen interest in the "oh-so-mainstream-and-fashionable-pop-music" as well.....come on, you know I can't help it!), I kind of see it. I see IT! I see the great Ozzy Osbourne pissed by drugs and alcohol, a walking zombie and can't stop questioning my judgement. Are these the people I wish to call my "idols"?

(And just about now, all metal fans reading this would want to kick me in the head! But bear with me and my long train of thoughts!)

This epiphany surprised me and my overly critical mind which is narrow in terms of music. Although I hate drugs and generally whatever alters what it is a shitty yet beautiful reality, I can't just abandon my "metal family"! Mr. Osbourne was presented as a regretful rock legend, family man, human being.

And here comes my big Eureka moment! Ozzy Osbourne is actually an old man. Isn't he? Of course he is the Prince of Darkness, the Voice, the father of metal etc etc. But he is an old man. He's been a naive teenager, with low self-esteem, with family and personal issues, could not handle fame and fortune, a dysfunctional human being throughout his lifetime... Just like all of us?

My psychological background taught me that different people cope through different adaptive or maladaptive ways. He chose the second. And apparently he is still alive for some strange reason (genetics mostly!). He is portrayed as a winner, someone you should admire because he survived and is now sober. As soon as my other critical self turned to ask me (the musically narrow-minded self) "so what? there are lots of non-famous people out there overcoming the same issues" I nearly kicked me (my critical self) in the head too!

Sure there are people out there deserving great admiration. On the other hand, rock legends are ought to be happy and grateful right? They are wealthy and better off than a "normal" person. Not quite. Rock legends were led to believe they had money, led to believe they owned their music and the reasons for the ones that actually do have money are stupendous deals such as the Osbourne family reality show (something I wish not to get into!). My point is, Heavy Metal doesn't give the wealth that pop "music" provides it's puppies with.

I, therefore, feel proud to say I admire Mr. Osbourne and the gang. Because my dear friends, Ozzy and the gang are  just old men. Old men who overcame their maladaptive behaviours while still managing to work, while still creating rock history, while still entertaining with (a)live shows, all under the public eye, as openly and as honestly as they could, only to become the legends they are (and deserve to be) today. And the great thing is that they are still alive to tell their story!
_________________________________________________________________________________
Image credits:
http://metal-army.com/
http://www.rockpic.net

Read More

Review of Def Leppard, Mötley Crüe & Steel Panther (UK Tour 2011)

Review of Def Leppard, Mötley Crüe & Steel Panther (UK Tour 2011, Wembley Arena, London, UK):

Venue: Good enough arena, acoustics could be better, view sometimes blocked when people got up 7/10

Steel Panther

Quality: I can't find an opposite of quality to characterise this act just for the sake of irony! 9/10

Passion: These guys are simply awesome. From dance routines to quirky jokes, they sure made an effort to entertain 10/10

Glamness: Brought Glam years to the 00s 10/10

Running Time: Would have given them a bit more time (30 mins set) 6.5/10

Set List: Good, enjoyed the between-songs jokes 9/10

Balls Out Album: Glamness, irony, and sarcasm - my thing! 8/10 

Mötley Crüe

Quality & Versatility: Although I love them, I have to be honest. They sounded a bit "rusty" and sound didn't come out right at times 7/10

Passion: What a show! Pyro, 360 Rollercoaster drum, lighting effects, the whole lot 9.5/10

Glamness:  Sunset Strip brought to London 9/10

Running Time: Fair considering there were three bands performing (90 mins set) 8/10

Set List: Played their best of. Enjoyed the piano part by Tommy Lee on "Home Sweet Home" and the 360 rollercoaster drum solo 9.5/10

Def Leppard

Quality & Versatility: 8/10

Passion: For a band of middle-aged men, pretty impressive. Still, I expected a bit more as I found myself yawning at times! 7/10

Running Time: Same as Mötley Crüe (90 mins set) 8/10

Set List: Covered all but was a bit boring at times. I was looking forward to a more impressive Rick Allen drum solo 8.5/10

Crowd: I've seen better 6.5/10

Overall experience: I have to say, three great bands performing on the same night was a damn good experience 8/10

_________________________________________________________________________________

Read More

The Evil Top Lists

Let's face it. We have all succumbed to the simplicity and the doubtful usefulness of top-like lists at some point. These are usually numbered ideas of what it is considered top in a specific area of interest or disinterest. They come in different forms and derive from the use of various creative thinking (in)abilities.

I always find myself googling to find out the "best" or "top" choices and ideas for me. From trip destinations, gift ideas, new music directions to life-changing advice. But I can't stop thinking of the evilness of these simple writings. For starters, they are completely subjective to one person's or "expert" committee's opinion.

The worst kind of top-like lists falling under this critique are the ones rating musical greatness, be it instrumental, lyrical, or performance. I apologise for thinking that anyone who has ears and intact perceptual processes can be a critic of music. Okay, fair enough, there are people who need the additional push of having a higher IQ, especially if they are drawn to pop music (don't want to be repetitive but pop music requires none of the above). Furthermore, since when is talent measurable and reducible to lists? It certainly shows, but on the other hand what defines Jimi Hendrix's guitar playing greater than Jimmy Page's as to be placed on the top of all "best guitar players" lists? Is it perhaps his revolutionary approach to guitar playing? Or maybe his musical impact? Who knows?

My second critique to top-like lists is their restrictive nature. They push you into thinking "What if I don't like that? What if I have other preferences? Am I uncool or not expert enough? Or maybe I'm missing something here". I know I thought I missed something when I followed many top destination lists' advice and went to Lisbon. I'm sorry, but comparatively, Lisbon is no top and no destination for that matter (no offence, I still love the Portuguese).

Another evil side of top-like lists is the way they lure you into not thinking and not trying to figure solutions youself. For example, let's take the pretentious how to lists, especially the ones dealing with life changes. "How to become happier in 5 simple steps" or the more sought after "10 rules to loosing your belly fat". Give me a break! Happiness is not a five step plan and the belly fat will probably not go away by ruling out. Unless you are advanced enough to find a way to put a lock on your mouth, or modify your genes.

And for the irony of it I made my own lists of top-like lists and categorised them by usefulness.

Top 5 useful top-like lists:
1. 10 simple rules to being a human being
Because the truth is some of us do need some guidance in that area
2. 25 successful tips to tax evasion plus 5 bonus tips on cheating death 
Because you can't avoid either according to somebody who had too much free time that enabled them to come up with it
3. Top 5 ways of cooking potatoes
Because they are awesome
4. 50 hints that your life sucks
Because you can never be certain enough
5. Top 10 evolutionary advances you should already possess
Because you should

Top 5 useless top-like lists:
1. 5 techniques to impress a woman
Because they won't work
2. Top 100 pop songs of all time
Because they don't exist
3. 10 strategies to spice-up your sex life
Because you'll probably end up divorced or in hospital
4. 7 steps to a happier life
Because happiness is subjective and doesn't happen in steps
5. 15 ways to look cool
Because if you haven't got it, drop it

My point is, you live, you fail, and you learn. You don't need ready-made guides on music taste, happiness, dating, or whatever other "bestness" is served out there by people who have nothing better to do. If you cannot avoid it though, browse and enjoy the diverse evilness of different lists created by intelligent aliens seeking to take over the world.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Image credits:
http://www.searchamelia.com
http://theplanetd.com

Read More