What Does It Take to Be a Doctor?

I’m sure most of you have heard that the living legend, riff virtuoso Tony Iommi has received his long overdue official recognition. He finally got an honorary doctorate of arts from Coventry University. And I’m also sure some of them, namely the pretentious, self-righteous, and know-it-all Drs of all sorts snorted in derision when they read about it and other similar stories before that. Well, as a Dr in the making myself I say to them: Suck it up!

I've been wanting to express my views on my road to Doctorship and now the time has come! I said it before and I’ll say it whenever I get the chance: becoming a doctor doesn't mean anything. Well, it means something but it does not mean you are smarter, more educated, or even evolutionary more advanced than everybody else. It does not make you a Mensa member (in fact, what does that even mean?), you are not superior (well a little but more on this later), and by no means you are more intelligent than the average person.

So this is what becoming a doctor actually means:

1. You spend a considerable amount of years studying a particular area.
2. You then spend an even more considerable amount of years trying to contribute to that area.
3.  You acquire skills and proficiency in that specific area over the years and ‘till your death.
4.  You eat shit in the process. You meet great and not so great (borderline sociopathic) people. You make connections. You learn how to regulate your emotions and how not to be humane. You lose faith in yourself. You become arrogant and then humble again. You doubt, despise, and hate yourself. You uncover the mystery behind humans and politics. You regret. You lose yourself and you find you again. You anathematize your existence and the choice to go through this road almost every day yet...
5. ...you love every single thing about it.
6. You then think you are an expert in your field.
7. You are actually recognised as an expert in your field.
8. You get the decorative prefix Dr in front of your name and the frame that goes with it.

The above process (or torment) is usually performed in the safe and well-regulated (most of the times) nest of a University in 3 to 10+ years. As I said, it won’t make you more intelligent than average nor does it mean you were so in the first place. It simply grounds you, it can kill your idealism, and it can challenge your values and ideas. Anyone can get into it but few will get out of it as winners. Winning is going through it all and not losing yourself in the process. I’m still struggling.

Now back to Mr. Iommi (or should I say Dr?). I urge you (and more so the pretentious Drs out there) to take another look at points 1 to 7 above. Tony Iommi has been through all of these. Not just once but hundreds of times for nearly 50 years now. Only now, he gets his no. 8. I will get it after 3 years, just because I pay the University my fees and do it in a controlled way. I don’t know about you but I feel humbled by the thought of it. For the only equivalent to Iommi is a wrinkly 60-year-old Professor of behavioural science in my field. His education did not come from a university; it came from a greater source: LIFE. So I salute you Dr Iommi. It was about time. And all of you out there condescending bores, suck it up, will you?

P.S. Some more awesome honorary Doctors (not necessarily of music): Bruce Dickinson, Steve Vai, Alice Cooper, Joan Baez, Jon Lord, Paul McCartney, Mark Knopfler, THE Bob Dylan, Jon Bon Jovi, Steven Tyler, Brian May and more.

                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Image credits:

Classic Rock Magazine

Black-Sabbath.com

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Rock N' Roll Goes To Hollywood

Unavoidably and to our amusement, arts get mingled at times. Hence, actors may sometimes come to be underutilized musical talents (e.g. Johnny Depp playing with Manson) or even ridiculously lost causes (e.g. Keanu Reeves with Dogstar [?]). On the other hand, many of our beloved musicians have appeared in cameo roles through the years. While very few left history (i.e. Spinal Tap), others where forgotten or even overlooked altogether. Here is an overview of some of the cameo appearances I found quite amusing (the list is not extensive). Some are well-known, others are not, and a few of these left me with that "what the hell" expression for days...

The Darwin Awards feat. Metallica
Two guys who are desperate to get into a Metallica gig do the classic "over the fence" move - just not so successfully! Headbanging while smoking a joint while hanging from a tree is not advisable. Priceless: Lars advising on drugs and Hetfield attempting to joke!

Despite this film, Lars also appeared in the mediocre "Get him to the Greek" with an equally mediocre very brief performance!

Monsterdog feat. Alice Cooper
We know Alice is an avid horror film fan, hence his graphic live shows. Known and unknown roles in movies include "The prince of darkness", "The attic expeditions" and "Freddy's Dead: The final nightmare", in the latter as Freddy's dad. The most famous though, it's his educational speech about Milwaukee in "Wayne's world". But my favourite must be "Monsterdog" where Alice plays a pop star cum lycanthrope or werewolf if you wish. Priceless: Alice pulling off the leather pants look since forever!

XXX feat. Rammstein
Well, not exactly what you call an acting cameo appearance, nonetheless Rammstein perform in this movie the way they know best. Priceless: Budgeting Rammstein's pyro show in the production costs!

Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny feat. Ronnie James Dio
If you have yet to watch this legend of a movie I suggest you go have a brain scan. I don't know what is funnier in this movie: Meatloaf playing a conservative religious father, Jack Black's scarily identical young self, or Dave Grohl as kinky Satan. Dio's certainly not funny at all as he manages to take a silly song and turn it into an anthem!

Eat the Rich feat. the one and only Lemmy
Lemmy stole the show in many movies by just being present! Cameo appearances include "Charlie's death wish", "Airheads", "Frezno smooth", "Terror firmer" "Citizen toxie: The toxic avenger", "The curse of El Charro"... I could go on for a while. Truth is, Lemmy has no real talent in acting, obviously! But there is something about this movie. Priceless: The saxophone guys who took their roles way too seriously, considering!

Detroit Rock City feat. KISS
Who can forget this surprisingly good movie produced by Gene Simmons himself? Priceless: "Knights in Satan's Service"!

Married with Children feat. Anthrax
Quite shy within the movie world Anthrax only appeared briefly in the movie "Calendar girls" [believe it or not!]. Scott Ian also portrayed a quite convincing zombie in "The walking dead" TV series. But what can top the band's cameo appearance in "Married with children"? Priceless: Scott without a beard and Belladonna's non-aging face! Seriously, what's wrong with that guy?

Little Nicky feat. Ozzy
I wouldn't expect to ever say this but I honestly think Ozzy's got talent in acting! From his appearance in "The American way",  "The jerky boys", or his amazing performance as a reverend (no, you are not hallucinating) in "Trick or treat"....advocating against rock pornography! My own personal favourite though has to be his role in "Little Nicky" purely because I can't believe how awful that movie was and how much better Ozzy made it. Priceless: The bat incident taken to a whole new level!

Pirates of the Caribbean feat. Keith Richards 
"Does this face look like it's been to the fountain of youth?" Need I say more?

                                                                                                                                                                                            
Image credits:
http://screenrant.com/

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Review of Marilyn Manson & Rob Zombie (Twins of Evil Tour 2012)

Review of Marilyn Manson & Rob Zombie (Twins of Evil Tour 2012 - O2 Arena, London, UK)

I wish I could really mark each of the two (Manson, Zombie) separately for this post, but since the tour is called Twins of Evil, it's only appropriate to have a single, complete, and always brilliant review! It will become obvious why...

Venue: O2 arena is great. Good acoustics and seating/standing arrangements for all tastes. 8/10

Quality & Versatility: First time I ever saw both of them. Based on previous lives I've seen circulating on the net, Manson was, well, simply put... bland. I have to say though I did not go to this gig to get impressed nor because I think Manson is a great musician; I went because I respect him more as an all-round artist and a human being. Rob Zombie on the other hand was a surprise for me. I admit, I am not a fan purely because there is too much music out there for me to like. I only knew him for a couple of songs and admittedly I was left more interested in him. Due to Manson's ok (I guess) performance and Zombie's showmanship I'll give a 7/10.

Passion: Manson's presence and passion was not in line with his whole show. I would expect more enthusiasm from him considering his history. Zombie  was energetic, engaging and simply awesome. 6/10

Running Time: Around 2 1/2 hours. Would expect slightly longer sets. 8/10

Set List: Not much knowledgeable on their discography as a hardcore fan would be but some gems were not missing. "Coma White", "Beautiful People" on one side and "Dragula" and a cover of Alice Cooper's "School's Out" on the other. 10/10

Crowd: One thing was surely going to be ace. The crowd was awesome, full of excitement and energy. All sorts of people were present; from the typical goth fan to the less hardcore softies! 10/10

Show: I haven't seen so much confetti in a gig before! Highlights were Manson dressed up as a priest and mostly Zombie's demons, robots, LED lights etc etc etc. 9/10

Overall Experience: Well, one thing I gained from this gig was not the goosebumps but my increasing interest in Rob Zombie. The "God of Fuck" was disappointing enough to make me not wanting to go to another of his shows in the future. Well, maybe a gallery show. Zombie on the other hand, will be a more regular visitor in my playlists from now on. Oh, and did I mention...I only just realised that he wrote and directed one of my favourite horror movies (i.e. The Devil's Rejects). Oh the ignorance! 8/10

Videos can be seen here: (coming soon!)

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Review of Alice Cooper (Raise the Dead Tour 2012, Halloween Night of Fear)

Review of Alice Cooper (Raise the Dead Tour 2012 - Halloween Night of Fear, Wembley Arena, London, UK):

Venue: Wembley Arena is a nice venue yet the acoustics, as I said many times before, are not great. 6/10

Opening Acts: Duff McKagan's Loaded & Ugly Kid Joe. Well, I was not familiar with either of their work but I was impressed. Well I knew Duff I just didn't follow him after GNR. Both acts were energetic and gave us a good warm-up. 8/10

Quality & Versatility:  Is there even a doubt that Alice Cooper is the definition of versatility? He's been doing this for the last 40 years and he's only become better at it. And that gal Orianthi, she's stunning in every sense! I wish I had her talent. 10/10

Passion: Frankly, being 65 years old and pulling off such a production is admirable to say the least. Alice is surely devoted to his work and his fans. The tribute to some of his late friends (i.e. John Lennon, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix & Keith Moon) was a pretty awesome touch! 9/10

Running Time: Four hours in total! 1 hour & 45 for Alice Cooper. 10/10

Set List: Brilliant! From the classics like Poison, Welcome to My Nightmare, and School's Out to 70's covers, the list is endless. 9/10

Crowd: Well, the crowd was enthusiastic but they were lacking in numbers. Still, many showed up dressed up for Halloween, which was great. 7/10

Show: Show is synonymous to Alice Cooper; everything you would expect from the lord of shock rock. Theatricality is paramount so the inclusion of fog machines, confetti, balloons, horror movie props, a straight jacket, whips, and the infamous boa constrictor were not absent. The only thing I really wanted to see is the guillotine but I guess there is only a certain number of things you can fit into a show! 9/10

Overall Experience: Since Download 2011, when I missed Alice Cooper closing the second stage for another act (damn peer-pressure!), I waited and waited for the time I get to see them live. I have no regrets for waiting really. Alice Cooper himself is a legend and I'm more than glad I had the opportunity to experience his horror show. 'Till next time! 8.5/10

Videos can be seen here: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyzuwe_kJsZ44TOyt-TL5fh-N7OTBuQXw&feature=mh_lolz
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Stone-Rolling the Money Dough

Yes I am pissed off. Who wouldn't be? But not with the band. Not really.

I am talking of course about the "outrageous" ticket prices for The Rolling Stones gigs. First, let's get things straight. They are The Rolling Stones and, yes, a logical person would have expected the ticket prices to be as high as they are. I mean, come on, did you really think you can watch the Stones for free? Have you heard about a thing called money? You know, the most important thing in the world, the moving force? No? Then take some socio-economical lessons, or simply look around you.

I don't understand how would anyone think the Stones are above money; why would they be? Sure, you paid for their food in the last 50 years [and their Bentley, their villas, their drugs etc] but didn't you get something in return? Records, cassettes, CDs, gig experiences. This is a two-way process, they offer a "service" for your money. It is an exchange; you pay, you get. You did not "make them a favour" as I heard many say. The only favour you make, is to yourself; passing through life with a good taste in music.

Now that I cleared things in that front, I'll move to the angry part. Of course, I am angry. But as I said not with the band or the ticket prices. And here I mean the prices as set by the Stones management and not the re-sell ones. As a logical person would do [and I do not praise myself here], I set a limit on how much I was willing to pay to see them live. I said, given my current circumstances, I'd pay a maximum of £250, the approximate price for a festival ticket. 'Cause lets face it, the Stones are worth 100 bands together. Yet I wouldn't pay significantly more than I paid for the legend that it is Bob Dylan, or Black Sabbath, or even Dio.

BUT! As it happened with the Zeppelin tickets, the posh "disagreeable persons" (that is the kindest version of the word assholes) and the ticket touts got them all. As a fan, I made sure I got access to the pre-sale by hunting down my O2 friends for their "priority" benefits. Priority my ass! It shouldn't surprise me that my "connection is down", or that their "server is down", or that I "have been placed in a queue", or even that my "request is being processed" while all the touts with their tricks, fiber-optic broadband, and hundreds of staff, where already purchasing all the lower priced tickets and re-selling them for 4 times their face value.

Unsurprisingly, same thing happened on the general sale day. And I ask! Why do we, the fans, allow this to happen? These people put a £106 ticket for £19,000!!! Seriously, instead of boycotting the gig, why not boycott these websites? You are part of the problem, so stop complaining about the prices when you would happily pay these websites your money on other occasions. If the price is right [and I mean face value] go for it. But stop being hypocritical... It's all about the money after all, be it selling or buying.

The best solution for me is The Rolling Stones playing a three-day festival-like gig somewhere in a big empty space where 400,000 people could attend each day; not the O2 "arena". Do the maths: nearly a million proper fans [cause the posh disagreeable persons would not go into the muddy fields even for a Stones gig] each paying £100, and the Stones having a cash in of more millions they can ever spend in their remaining years! And that's just in UK. But hey, what do I know, right?

In the meantime, I take control of my rage, wish The Rolling Stones good luck with their gig and with having Paris Hilton and all the other "disagreeables" in the front row (!), and head off to buy my Alice Cooper Halloween tickets for no more than £44 per head!

See you on the next Pirates of the Caribbean Keef!
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Image credits:
http://www.billboard.com
http://noisey.vice.com

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Aging Bodies, Aging Minds, Aging Bands

The inspiration for this piece of writing comes from a brief twitter chat I had with a dear “under-web ally” of mine (i.e. an online yet still underground co-defender of the Rock) @RockCyprus. Chatting about the recent Download 2013 line-up announcements, our conversation went something like this:

@Tzellofouska Rammstein & Maiden in one go? Surely, you don't wanna miss that! 

@RockCyprus It's been Maiden and Metallica from the 1st row in the last 2 years. Hard to beat that I'll have to have a break ;) [plus the prized possession of Kirk Hammett's guitar pick! ;)]

@Tzellofouska Metallica...Second most disappointing live band after Megadeth. And am a keen thrasher; just 20 yrs too late [ 90s vs 00s.... The price to pay for my age!]

@RockCyprus It's a big discussion, but surely Hetfield or Araya can never be 20 and alcoholics ever again ;) :D

And it went on for a few more tweets. Now, just to clarify, my aim is not to get into a discussion about disappointing live shows from [previously great yet still legendary] bands. I will only pose a few of my contemplations in the hope of initiating a healthy exchange of opinions.  

It all started with me seeing Metallica live for the first time. Then it happened again when I saw what Axl calls Guns N’ Roses nowadays. And it all happened for the third time when I saw Megadeth at this year’s Download. What a disappointment it was, I cannot emphasize enough! Performance-, passion-, stage presence-wise, you name it. 

At the time, I used to say to myself and others equally disappointed as me, that you wouldn’t expect these bands to perform to the same level as 20 years ago for example. It is of course a valid point. Or perhaps a good rationalisation of why I spent £60 on a gig that hasn’t changed me in the least. Because, you see, I only appreciate gigs that change my life, even a tiny bit at a time. I shall elaborate... 

Every band or artist has what I call a pre-defined persona. Meaning, they are known for specific elements of their live shows. Take Rammstein, for example, known for their extreme pyro shows complemented by heavy German rumblings [which I love by the way!]; or Iron Maiden with Eddie and an over-enthusiastic Mr. Dickinson; or Motörhead with their deafening decibels and a Lemmy; or even Kiss with their outdated yet oh-so-entertaining outfits; or Black Sabbath with a playful Ozzy and a quiet Iommi that communicates through the riffs. ALL bands have their pre-defined persona; from the time of their conception to today.

Now, when I go to a live show, I expect to see, feel, and experience that persona. I am easily satisfied though. Just having the opportunity to see legendary bands is an excitement on its own, considering most are at the end of the “road”. I surely don’t expect to see the SAME level of energy and passion as I see in videos of their earlier shows. Or should I?

Having been to so many gigs in the past decade alone means that I saw many of these “dinosaur” bands as people call them but not in their prime years. From this experience alone I realised that while there might be an expiration date on creativity for making good albums, passion is meant to stay put. Aging is not an excuse for a bad live for me anymore. 

If you can’t support that pre-defined persona of the band with the same level of passion anymore, just don’t bother touring; because then it shows that you are doing it purely for the cash. I’m sure Alice Cooper will retire once he’s not able to hold that boa on stage anymore. There were a few gigs that made an impact and changed me the way I wanted; Black Sabbath, Heaven & Hell, Anthrax, Motörhead, Judas Priest, AC/DC, Kiss, Rammstein, and even the remaining of The Who! One can see that age is not the point here; some of these guys get a social security check at the end of each month! 

I would love, and I’m sure I’ll have more opportunities, to see Metallica or Megadeth again so that I prove myself wrong. But in the meantime, yawning at a gig, where one of your favourites is performing, is not a very good sign. Either love what you do or quit while you can. Performing is just another job you have to enjoy doing in order to survive in this business. I will repeat: there is no such thing as aging bodies; just aging minds.

You may follow @RockCyprus  on twitter for updates on upcoming shows in Cyprus. Otherwise, just follow him anyway because he's got some great tweets!

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Image Credit:

http://www.last.fm/

http://www.collapseboard.com/

http://tzellofouska.blogspot.co.uk/

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Precious Rocks & Rare Heavy Metals: Chapter 3

The third of a series of fun articles aiming to explore the impact that Rock and Heavy Metal artists/bands had on the world and the impact the world had on them. This series will cover a number of artists so all favourites are presented. Read the first and second chapters here and here.

Please note: There is no specific reason (e.g. greatness, preference etc) for the order bands are presented!

ALICE COOPER

There is no question that Alice Cooper himself is well respected and considered as a great example of a rock star. He is pretty much the leader of Shock Rock as people call it. His stage presence and theatrics had people talking for generations. But behind that creepy façade of his you may find a “born-again Christian”, a humanitarian, and an esteemed friend. He has become very talkative about his religious beliefs and has set up his own non-profit organisation called “Solid Rock” aiming to help teenagers in many aspects of their lives. Alice Cooper has recently received an honorary doctorate too and gave a strange speech. Full story here. 

Now, out of respect to his outstanding musical contribution and long career and due my own admiration of him as a human being and artist I will have to pass and try not judge Mr. Cooper about his recent religious enthusiasm. He is 64 after all and closer to the “light”. But there are some signs of (possible) dementia and I'm raising a red flag here. I’m no doctor but any sort of admiration towards the thing called Lady Gaga must surely mean that some neurological deficiency is present. He IS 64 after all. Full story and proof I’m not crazy here. On a lighter note, you can catch Alice in the new movie by Tim Burton alongside Johnny Depp. Now that I wanna see! 

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE

Rage Against The Machine (RATM) are mostly known for their political and social activism. Their music and lyrics represent this and it’s no wonder considering that guitarist Tom Morello is a social studies graduate from Harvard University. There is no protest or march that Morello and de La Rocha are not part of. There is an interesting paper on radical criminology with an extensive analysis of RATM lyrics which I found very interesting (link here). Some less known “services” to the world include Morello’s stripper career! Full story here. 

If I was forced to listen to Nu Metal I would choose to only listen to RATM. The fact is I do and I like it. The combination of funk, metal, and a bit of rapping with that guitar sound and those lyrics is just remarkable. I cannot imagine a more cathartic and aggressive song than "Killing in the Name". Ok, maybe "Angel of Death" by Slayer but not for soul-catharsis reasons! Anyway, my point is, being an idealist myself, I find it comforting that there are people out there who (still) believe in ideas like civil rights, equality, world peace, etc etc. And believe it or not a political science graduate-cum-vegetarian stripper-cum-protest musician is part of this bunch. But the best part is that I don’t have to do a thing, just watch them from my couch and smile devilishly! Here is a fun video of a school marching band “covering” Killing in the Name. Enjoy!

SLAYER

 

Slayer is undoubtedly the most controversial of the “Big 4” in terms of lyrics, music, and pretty much everything else. Ideas like Nazism, white supremacy, Satanism, terrorism, war, murder, and all other awful-sounding words in the English dictionary can be found in the repertoire of the accusations towards this band. Kerry King’s feisty personality and uncounted feuds don’t help much either. Still, the band managed to leave its stamp in the Metal history as one of the most important bands and probably the most consistent Thrash Metal band of all. Recently, they joined the Heavy Metal marketing race when they named a wine after the hymn “Reign in Blood”. Full story here. It is only available in Sweden (where else?) and at the ridiculous price of €80! You may purchase here. The description for this wine is very impressive and effortful: 

"The wine, a Cabernet Sauvignon from California, is as uncomprimising [sic] and tough as the band. After a couple of Seasons in the Abyss, the wine has an undisputed attitude and a soft nose of dark berry fruits with oak and spicy nuances. Good mouth feel with hints of fresh fruit and juicy, smooth tannins. Well structured and rounded with subtle notes of oak, showing true Divine Intervention. Best company for the wine comes as no surprise, enjoy it while headbanging, riffing or with food, friends and great music. Reign in Wine!"

Honestly, Slayer was not one of the bands I listened to when I first got into Heavy Metal. But I was meant to and I soon realised there is not another band that “screams” more Metal than this one. I mean come on, even their diseases sound Metal: necrotizing fasciitis, a flesh-eating disease that Hanneman contracted from a spider bite! What’s more Metal than that? Oh, perhaps a Jagermeister add featuring Kerry King? Watch it here. I just love this guy's look!

Watch this space for the next chapter of this series.

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Image credits:

http://www.radiometal.com 

http://www.ratm.com/ 

http://www.fasterlouder.com.au

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