Science Feature: The Philosophical Basis of Headbanging and Moshing

How often do you see a research paper starting off with the lyrics of a heavy metal song? Never, I can tell you that! It's not the case with this paper I discovered recently though; the authors actually showcase the lyrics of St. Anger by Metallica! Ok, I'll admit, not the best asset of heavy metal music yet a powerful song in terms of lyrics that serves the authors' purpose in the paper.

The main subject is heavy metal music and catharsis. "Catharsis" is just a posh (and Greek) word for venting. "Venting" is just scientific jargon for expressing. "Expressing".... oh well, you know what expression is! The key to catharsis though is it's translation from Greek. The word itself means moral/emotional cleansing (in Aristotle's terms). So, instead of just expression we also get a cleansing to go with it!

Well, the authors get in too much detail of what catharsis is but their main focus is catharsis in collective rituals. Or in the case of heavy metal, a gig.

They didn't just interview fans, artists, and producers. They went a step further by attending metal gigs (i.e. the collective rituals!), collecting photos from the heavy metal scene, listening to a number of records from different metal genres (poor them!), reading metal magazines, going online to metal fansites, and downloading (legally? I may ask!) lyrics from the internet. So you see how they got my respect in the first place.

They start of with what they call the disempowered self. Meaning that their participating metal fans came from unhappy childhoods with feelings of loneliness and rejection from their peers due to their musical tastes. They move on to the collective un/conscious (e.g. stories, myths and symbols). The participants all seemed to have something in common: fondness of The Lord of the Rings trilogy and the idea that even the smallest person can change the world as well as an openness for accepting different sorts of people.

Then the authors move on to describe the ritual performance within heavy metal. This includes satanic symbols on clothing which indicate the desire for power. They also cite the lyrical themes representing social frustration through examples of mythical legends etc. Then on to emotional/cognitive balance, where the emotional experience of the gig is focused on anger and distancing. Here participants describe the nature of the mosh pit, stage-diving, and all the associated acts during a gig.

Finally, the authors describe rejuvenation where participants reported feelings of emotional relief and re-energizing, enlightenment, and moral rightness.

My view
As you can see the author's built up a theory of catharsis within the heavy metal culture and specifically the live gig environment. Despite the use of fancy and scientific words here, one thing someone can take from this is that heavy metal fans "use" this gig environment as a punchball to release their day-to day frustrations and reach this said catharsis. From a psychological perspective I would add that heavy metal music and specifically a heavy metal gig may serve as a coping mechanism. It is really the one place you won't be judged, where you are a team (even when you get the odd punch in the face at the pit!), within a secure and friendly environment of sameness and differentiation at the same time. Now, I respect the authors try to dress this simple truth in a more philosophical attire but still I prefer my simple metal t-shirt! 

P.S. The authors put a footnote to describe James Hetfield: "James Hetfield is the lead singer of the world’s most financially successful heavy metal music group, Metallica". Heh.
                                                                                                                                                                                                             
Reference:
Headbanging as Resistance or Refuge: A Cathartic Account by Paul Henry & Marylouise Caldwell (2007). Abstract available here.
                                                                                                                                                                                                           
Image credits:
https://www.facebook.com/Pantera
Patrick Lux/Getty Images Europe

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Science Feature: The Effects and Influences of Music on Life

This is a new series of articles bringing you all the science bits you need to know about our favourite music genre: heavy metal [or rock n' roll if you prefer]. I promise I'll strip out all the boring and sometimes nonsensical parts and present you with the fun "takeaway" messages each research study offers. I'll first present a general overview and then my own opinion on the matter. I hope you enjoy it and participate by sharing your views on the subject too.

The first interesting research I came across is on how music influences life [Figone 2012]. It is a general article discussing how different music genres may affect not just humans but plants as well!

"What would my life be without music?"

Asks the author. [Feel free to express what music means to you in the comments section]

Classical music may be emotional with an ability to "strike the soul", whereas jazz "makes the groove". On the other hand though, heavy metal and rock is "well portrayed" since "the creator puts all their built up emotions in a bottle, and release the cap". The author argues that people may be captivated when listening to such music, mesmerized by the strong emotions and the connections they make with specific words or phrases.

This type of music develops into many different forms and may cause the release of a variety of emotions; from love and happiness to anger, fear, and depression. The author also notes a shift in the nature of rock songs from 40 years ago to today citing the transition from classics such as the "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen and "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey to more explicit lyrics and aggressive musical compositions.

In general, major chords tend to make you feel good whereas minor chords tend to make you feel bad. Point is, music may have both good and adverse effects on human behaviour. It may promote learning, socially acceptable behaviour or even form a child's personality. On the other hand, music may promote bad feelings and antisocial behaviour going as far as conflict and war.

It is remarkable how heavy metal music affects plants. In a study, researchers found that plants increased their height by 30.7% when they "listened" to heavy metal and by 19.1% when they "listened" to classical music compared to "deaf" plants. The same plants also increased their leaf area by 27.3% (heavy metal) and 31% (classical) [Mynn & Shiqin, 2009]!



Author's spot on takeaway message:
"Music is magnificent, highly diverse form of art, and has the power to build or destroy".

My View
It is a fact that music may give rise to different emotions and promote a variety of behaviours. It is also a fact that heavy metal is very explicit with war, drugs, sex, religion, and fantasy elements. When a person listening to such music is equipped with decent thinking skills and is rational enough (I avoid using the word smart as it is misleading) they can easily enjoy the music and distinguish between reality and fantasy as well as between right and wrong. Also, when music facilitates the release of negative emotions in safe and controlled environments such as a concert venue or your own home, it can be extremely cathartic. I could go on for a while but all I say is that I refuse to believe that RATM's "Killing in the Name" is promoting more bad feelings or is more explicit than the stupendous "Rude Boy" by Rihanna (sample lyrics cited below).

Killing in the Name (RATM)
"Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses...
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites...
Killing in the name of!
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control...
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me"

VS

Rude Boy (Rihanna)

"Come here, rude boy boy
Can you get it up?
Come here, rude boy boy
Is you big enough?
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Tonight I'm a let you be the captain
Tonight I'm a let you do your thing, yeah
Tonight I'm a let you be a rider
Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up babe"

Now, both songs use repeated verses throughout. Both are simple songs in terms of lyrics. Both use explicit language. The difference is that RATM speak about opposing institutional racism and police brutality. Rihanna on the other hand speaks about the ability of a certain rude (?) guy to get his huge penis up and then do what any gentleman would do to a lady, i.e. "make love" to her. 

Pop quiz: Which of the above songs is a total bullshit and manages to make you feel bored, hopeless, and stupider at the same time? Hmmm, let me guess!

                                                                                                                                                                                                       

References

Main article: Nature's Harmony. The Effects and Influences of Music on Life by Andy Figone (2012) Available for free download here.

Plant growth article: Investigating the Effects of Sound Energy on Plant Growth by Tan Mynn & Huang Shiqin (2009) Available for free download here.
                                                                                                                                                                                                     

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Rhetorical Thoughts: The Skin (Dis)Colouration

If no "blacks" are actually black, no "whites" are literally white, no "yellows" are really yellow, and no "reds" are in reality red....

Why, then, are we still categorising race by colour?

Fact: We are all different shades of brown!

More facts and science here.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 

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"IT" Is The Life

by guest author while(TRUE){life();}

This piece is dedicated to all the engineers, tech-savvies, and geeks out there. A timeline of progress, disappointment, anger management issues, and liberation! 

The Education 
HND in Computer Engineering
BEng in Computer Engineering
MSc in Data Communication

The Student Experience 
During my years at uni I got everything that anyone could ever imagine: made good friends, was taught how to think like an engineer, did fun projects, and spent countless hours in labs (even the pizza guy learned were the labs were and came knocking on the door to deliver the usual!). My knowledge of communication systems was growing exponentially on a daily basis and something inside me was always pushing me to go the extra mile, like changing the code of a software so we can file-share with friends.

The First Job 

Junior Network Engineer: new toys, new experience, and a lot more to learn. I was working on a production system an entire company was depending on with everything working like a Swiss watch. I wish I could say that was true for me at the beginning of my career! That something inside me kept me going and going, no stop for me until I got it right; playing with new toys is like a fat kid in a candy store for an engineer (ok, ok for the sake of political correctness let’s say overweight). Within a year I became the lead, the authority on everything and anything (in engineering terms the “in case s**t man”). I was learning fast and I was having fun and I was getting paid for it as well, the trifecta for any engineer out there. Light-bulb moments were coming in thick and fast.  

The Wake-up Call 
Then a change happened. I came across office politics. I do not like office politics, I do not do office gossip, and I hate back-stabbers (that’s right, you all shall burn in hell). That is not my game, I'm an engineer, genetically programmed to look at the cold hard facts and formulate an answer to a problem. But I soon realised... office politics do work. Knowledge-less people were moving up the ladder, playing with Facebook all day long (that’s right am part of the resistance) while others dealt with problems they caused. Well, I consider them f***ing parasites! That something inside me started to get really upset. I kept everything in check, kept true and worked smart and hard.

Career Take 2
Solutions Architect: new people, new opportunities, new systems to learn. I was part of a team that were the technical experts on any technology the company had to offer. It didn't took me long, six months down the line I became the team leader, I was performing training courses from the most advanced technologies to entry-level for everyone. For any difficulty that came along, I was the answer. The trifecta was back, learning new technologies, sharing knowledge and getting paid for it. Before the year coming to an end I was awarded as one of the top business' performers.

The Games
Funny how things change though, it took a year before I started noticing the office politics again. I locked horns with one of the sales directors; these guys really don't like us! The engineer in me prevailed. Keep true I said to myself, keep true. That evil thing inside me kept growing stronger and stronger by the day though.

The Realisation
Well after that fiasco and almost two years down the line I have seen some ugly truths and even more ugly people! The same pattern over and over again, knowledge-less idiots move along the line, just by using office politics. They steal your ideas present them as their own and get the credit for it. Well that is office politics for you people. Still, there are technology companies out there that have it right and that is why they are called pioneers of technology.

Moving On 

Now I have interviews lined up and it all looks good, but that thing inside me has grown into a full figure with black attire, an army of evil, and some respiratory problems. It’s getting harder and harder to keep IT in line (see what I did there?). But its voice is always there in the background whispering... 

WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE DO HAVE COOKIES!!!
(and gaming platforms, gadgets, and loose virtual women)

                                                                                                                                                                                                      

 while(TRUE){life();} has now got a job that he is temporarily happy with. He is so intelligent as to be considered a genius by his friends who expect him to make lots of money and share the wealth with his fanclub. He is a proud geek, gamer, and spectacle-wearer and does think that geeks rule [honestly]. He is also the only member of the Facebook Résistance and quite paranoid about his digital footprint and for these reasons only you cannot really follow him anywhere. Except in real life. But that would make you a stalker. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Image credits:

perspectives.3ds.com

www.wallforever.info

vi.sualize.us

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Rhetorical Thoughts: The Umbrella Distribution

You are out with your better half or a good friend on a seemingly lovely day. And then it rains... And you realise that once again- like an idiot who should know better by now since you live in London for a good few years- you forgot the one useful thing you should always carry with you: the umbrella.

Then your companion pulls out that typical black umbrella, probably bought from one of those strategically positioned men around Oxford street on another rainy day when they were as forgetful and stupid as you. And then it happens! The attempt to share the umbrella.

You first try to figure out who's best to hold it (probably the tallest one). Then you try to get as close to each other as possible without depriving each other precious oxygen. Then you try to position yourself in a way that you won't have the accidental bum-to-bum slap when you walk. But it doesn't work; mathematically it DOES NOT work. And it will NEVER work [unless you carry a tent].

Umbrella sharing is a useless negotiation process and, quite frankly, annoying. You always end up with two half-wet people. It's better to have one perfectly dry, comfortable, and probably evolutionary fittest person. I rest my case.
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Image credit:
Painting by Gordon Bruce at http://gordonbruce.deviantart.com/ 

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Just a Step from Nowhere

Here it is! My attempt to self-therapy! This is another poem-like creation of mine. I would call it one of my earlier experimentations with writing song lyrics. The title pretty much says it all. Dio would have probably burst out laughing if he ever read this but hey, if I had Ronnie's talent, I wouldn't be posting questionable "lyrics" here. But then again, If I had Ronnie's talent, I wouldn't be writing this kind of "masterpieces" in the first place!

For those wondering, no I wasn't suffering from depression back then, I was merely trying to be deep. I failed miserably...

Lying here feeling nothing at all
Looking around, seeing it all wrong.
Faces are coming, then leave and forget
Most of them don’t know but still they regret.

Hey, listen! That’s just what I want.
You offer a life but I’m not very fond of.

Still lying here without a thought
Poor little face with nothing to hope.
Can someone tell me what I’m looking for?
Am going crazy, can’t stand this no more.

Hey, listen! That’s just what I want.
You offer a life but I’m not very fond of.

Weird thoughts filling my head
Loosing my mind, I might have been dead.
For a moment I think help‘s coming near
But all I can feel is me dying here!

Hey, listen! That’s me and I’m crying.
Just hope you could save me from my painful dying!

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Ode to the Souls

This is a piece of writing I created when I was in a considerably worse psychological and surely less mature state. It's funny how post-teenagehood angst along with a combination of words can transform into a weird "poem". Enjoy but don't take it too seriously, it's not meant to be a piece of art! Quite the opposite.

Endless tyranny that refuses to seize.

Fear (...), in the strange figures that pose in front of Life.

(...) of the End?

The desire for Life...

Is deadly.

Souls chased by Sadness.

Shady, empty.

Curious souls dressed up with vague masks.

Delusions between...

they are scared

they withstand

they kill

and they get killed.

Sedulous straggle for existence.

Is it worth it?

they ignore but they endure.

Without purpose, without reason.

Naked hopes, reckless acts.

Blind path towards infinity.

They survive.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Image Credits:

Painting by Alex Gardega at http://gardega.com

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I Bet My Life!

by guest author Savallas

[Scroll down the page for the English version and author bio]

Υπάρχουν πολλοί τρόποι με τους οποίους ένα άτομο μπορεί να χάσει λεφτά, αλλά υπάρχει ένας μόνο τρόπος να μην το ξανακάνει. 

Εδώ και χρόνια στον τόπο μας, στην Κύπρο, λέμε, ξαναλέμε, αποφασίζουμε μετανιώνουμε το ξανασκεφτόμαστε αλλά τίποτα...
Να κάνουμε καζίνα τελικά ή όχι; 

Ένας τζογαδόρος σίγουρα δεν θα καταστραφεί από ένα καζίνο αφού είναι στο αίμα του να ποντάρει, να προκαλεί τον άλλο και γενικά του αρέσει να περπατά πάνω σε αυτή την πολύ λεπτή κλωστή που χωρίζει την νίκη απο την ήττα, την επιτυχία από την αποτυχία. Να κάνει σκέψεις ότι θα διπλασιάσει σε λίγο τα λεφτά του ή θα έρθει η απόλυτη καταστροφή του μέσα σε λίγα μόλις δευτερόλεπτα. Βλέπεις, ο τζόγος δεν είναι κάτι που μπορείς να το σταματήσεις απο την μία μέρα στην άλλη. Είναι αρρώστια.

Ένας τζογαδόρος θα σε πάει στοίχημα με λεφτά για το αν καταφέρεις να τρέξεις τα 10 μέτρα σε 2 δευτερόλεπτα, θα σε πάει στοίχημα στο τάβλι, θα σε πάει στοίχημα στα ζάρια, στο φαγητό, στο ποτό, στη διασκέδαση. Δεν έχει σημασία το ποσό, αλλά η όλη διαδικασία. Με λίγα λόγια, ο τζόγος είναι μέρος της ζωής μας, της καθημερινότητάς μας, είτε μας αρέσει είτε όχι. Ο τζογαδόρος σίγουρα δεν θα περιμένει να του κτίσεις καζίνο για να ξοδέψει τα λεφτά του, δεν σε έχει ανάγκη. 

Στην Κύπρο όμως, ο πρόεδρός μας, δεν θέλει να το κάνει γιατί λέει οτι θα καταστραφούν οικογένειες, θα κλείσουν σπίτια και ο τόπος μας θα καταντήσει Λας Βέγκας λόγω του υπόκοσμου. Λαμβάνοντας υπόψην μας την ανεργία, την απελπισία και τη γενικότερη κατάσταση του τουρισμού μας που βρίσκεται στον αναπνευστήρα, δεν ακούγεται και τόσο άσχημο. Επίσης, να υποθέσουμε ότι ο υπόκοσμος τώρα, δεν έχει δράση στην Κύπρο, αφού είναι όλοι νοματαγείς πολίτες και γενικά ζούμε μέσα σε μία κοινωνία όπου βασιλεύει το δίκαιο και ο νόμος. 

Εν τω μεταξύ στα καζίνα πέραν του νοητικού πλέον συρματοπλέγματος, παίκτηκαν ήδη ολόκληρες περιουσίες, χάθηκαν τόσα εκατομμύρια. Είδατε εσείς πουθενά την καταστροφή; Φυσικά και όχι, αφού είναι καθαρά επιλογή του καθενός το τι θα κάνει με τα λεφτά του και πώς θα επιλέξει ο ίδιος να τα ξοδέψει. O μοναδικός χαμένος από την όλη υπόθεση λοιπόν δεν είναι ο τζογαδόρος, αλλά το κράτος. 

Πέραν των κοινωνικών επιπτώσεων, που έτσι κι αλλιώς στην παρούσα κατάσταση τα κοινωνικά θέματα δεν φένεται να ενδιαφέρουν τους αρμόδιους, το κράτος ενώ θα μπορούσε να βγάζει πάρα πολλά εκατομμύρια (300.000.000 και μόνο από τις άδειες κάθε χρόνο) δεν κάνει τίποτα γι’ αυτό. Εξού και η οδήγηση μας στον μηχανισμό υποστήριξης ή σε δάνεια από άλλα κράτη. 

Η δημιουργία καζίνου, θα έβλαπτε σοβαρά και τον υπόκοσμο, θα ήταν ένα κτύπημα κάτω από την μέση αφού έτσι, ο κυρίαρχος στην πράσινη τσόχα θα είναι το κράτος και με μία μπάγκα αρκετά μεγάλη ώστε να κτυπά τα ρέστα του όποτε θέλει και με το αζημίωτο. Δεν θα είχαμε γκαστερικές επιθέσεις όπως την ψεσινή και σίγουρα δεν θα είχαμε και τόσα θύματα.

Ο Κύπριος, συγκαταλέγεται ανάμεσα στους τρεις μεγαλύτερους τζογαδόρους στον κόσμο. Τα σκύπτρα τα κρατάνε οι Κινέζοι. 

Ο τζόγος αυτή την στιγμή βασιλεύει στον αθλητισμό αλλά δεν είδαμε καμία αντίδραση, έχουν φτάσει στο σημείο να θεωρούν άθλημα τον... ιππόδρομο και τα εκατομμύρια που παίζουν κάθε φορά, την ώρα που όλοι ξέρουν ότι είναι όλα στημένα.

Τζογαδόροι είμαστε όλοι στο κάτω κάτω, απλά μερικοί ξέρουν πότε πρέπει να σταματήσουν (ο σωστός τζογαδόρος) και άλλοι όχι (ο πάντα χαμένος τζογαδόρος) και αυτό είναι που κάνει τον τζόγο να παίζει τόσο σημαντικό ρόλο στην ζωής μας.

Όπως είπαμε και στην αρχή, τρόποι υπάρχουν πολλοί για να χάσει κάποιος λεφτά, υπάρχει όμως μόνο ενας για να σταματήσει να το κάνει και αυτός είναι όταν θα χάσει την ζωή του.

_________________________________________________________________________________

There are many ways with which a person can lose money, but there is just one way for them not to do it again.

For years now, here in our country, Cyprus, we argue, we take decisions, we regret, and change our minds but nothing happens...

Should we finally give licenses for casinos? Or not?

Surely gamblers won’t be ruined by one casino since gambling is in their blood, challenging others and generally walking on that thin line between winning and losing, between success and failure. Thinking whether they will soon double their money or be completely wiped out in a matter of seconds. You see, gambling is not something you can stop from one day to the next. It’s a disease.

Gamblers will bet you on whether you are able to run 10m in 2 seconds, they will bet you on a game of backgammon or dice, they will bet you on food, drinking, or simply on having fun. And it’s not about the amount, it’s the whole process. In other words, gambling is part of our everyday lives whether we like it or not. A gambler is not waiting for a casino to waste their money, they’ve got their ways.

In Cyprus though, our president refuses to give the licenses for casinos because, as he claims, families will be wrecked, households will be ruined, and our country will become something like Las Vegas because of the underworld. Considering the unemployment, the desperation, and the general condition of our tourism which is suffering, it doesn’t sound that bad. And let’s also assume for a moment that the underworld is not active presently, and that all citizens in Cyprus are law abiding and we generally live in a society where law and fairness reign!

In the meantime, in the casinos beyond the now mental barricade that divides our country, whole properties have been placed as a bet and millions were lost. Have you seen any destruction? Of course not, since spending their money is each person’s choice. The only loser in all this is not the gambler but the government.

Despite the social consequences, which are not a high priority for the relevant competent authorities anyway, the government could make many millions out of it (300million just from the licenses each year only), but chooses not to. Hence, Cyprus is very close to seeking financial support and loans from other countries.

The establishment of casinos would hit the underworld as well. It would be an “under the belt” move since it would mean that the government is now dominant in the gambling game with a respectful money pot. We wouldn’t have gangster-like attacks like the recent one and we surely wouldn’t have so many victims.

Cypriots are amongst the three biggest gamblers in the world with the Chinese leading the way at the moment.

Gambling at the moment is dominant in sports. But we have yet to experience an objection to that. It reached the point where horse racing, and the millions they bet, is considered a sport while consciously knowing everything is a set up.

At the end of the day, we are all gamblers. It’s just that some know when they need to stop (the right gambler) and others don’t (the losing gambler) and this is what makes gambling so important in our lives.

As I said at the beginning, there are many ways with which a person can lose money but there is just one way for them to stop... losing their life.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Savallas is a 30 something anti-hero who enjoys complaining about the world we live in. He claims AC/DC and Slayer are the best and apparently they are. At the moment he spends his time fighting unfairness in a small Cypriot town, kind of like a Cypriot Batman. You cannot follow his views anywhere because you have to pay for them.

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Image credits:

http://casinopokerbetting.org

http://themindspost.com/

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In Quest of a Cure to Pop Music Attraction

For a long time now, I've been torturing myself trying to figure out why people listen to and most importantly like pop music. You will now ask “Why bother?” and I will respond “Because it bothers me and the social scientist in me”! Although the selfish side of me wants to just ignore pop music and the people who choose it, it is almost impossible. I, too, have a number of friends of questionable intelligence (sorry!) that choose to listen to a genre that not only bothers me but also induces some feelings I don’t really like and that I don’t generally associate with my character (e.g. rage). Still, I have a small number of close friends who, although they would normally rank high on a questionable intelligence quotient scale and belong to an older age group, they insist on listening to pop music.

Through the years I tried to closely examine and understand the reasons behind such important music choices by the people around me. I present to you here, what I have come up with until now, with a conscious try to be as objective as I can possibly be and not bring in my Heavy Metal preference and background.

Instant gratification
It is widely accepted even by the music industry “experts” that pop music aims at making people happy. Now the term happy here does not necessarily indicate genuine happiness. Instead, it entails a momentary or instant experience of positive feelings. I would constantly ask people “why do you feel happy listening to a talentless humanoid singing about saturated subjects that other music genres present more gracefully?” No response [and no surprise there]. I soon realised, by further examining their characters, that these people are experiencing a regression to their childhood. It is a fact that most followers of popular music are youngsters, usually 16 years or younger. This, although not encouraging, is no surprise. At that age, people don’t want to have to think about the music they listen to, they just want to have fun. Hence, older listeners of pop music are just avoiding the real world and focusing on the high feelings a pointless music composition with light lyrics induces.

Lack of interest in deeper issues
Let’s face it, pop music is no rocket science! Observations of people who listen to pop music led me to believe that they like their lives to be carefree, simple, and only being able to handle the occasional heartbreak. By examining the lyrics and musical compositions of a number of songs (as many as my poor ears could handle at the time) I came to the conclusion that pop music makes things simple and straightforward for the listener. Although most music genres have a common selection of subject matters, the lyrics in pop music make it easy for even a person in a vegetate state to grasp their “meaning”. While other genres would use intelligent words or even intelligent combination of simple words the pop genre is full of overused and cliché lyrics. E.g. your stupid boyfriend cheated on you with your best –male – friend; you are therefore heartbroken; you can do the same to get revenge; but you choose to drink your sorrows away; hence, you become stronger [because what doesn't kill you make you stronger, right?]. No wonder people feel happy when listening to pop songs. While other people try to solve riddles and understand hidden messages, the pop fan can sing along without even evoking any conscious effort or brain activity for that matter.


Lack of interest in musicianship
The previous point leads to this observation. When people don’t care about the quality of the linguistic input to their ears, they wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about the sound input either. The pop fan wouldn’t normally care about the musical technique or even the talent behind the person playing an instrument. As the matter of fact they don’t even have to since most pop music is created on computers using a combination of stolen catchy tunes from previous hits. And why would they care anyway, right? Like most of us, it’s not like they have to be tested on their ability to distinguish between a C minor and a D major [I don’t know I’m just guessing here!]. Finally, who even realises that most pop and nearly all hit songs use the same four chords. These guys do and they present a pretty solid case! Unsurprisingly, some rock and reggae anthems are condemned too but in these you can notice a balance in artistic quality between lyrics and music.

Fancy exteriors
Last but not least, I could not help but notice an attraction to nice façades by my pop friends. Arguably, we all prefer nice-looking people who are kind to our eyes. But when it comes to what your ears can handle as opposed to what your eyes wish for, most people would risk some eye soreness instead of dangerous sounds that may potentially blow up their eardrums. Not the pop fans though. My observational experience showed me that people listening to pop consider looks as an important factor. Now, I would regularly argue against that by citing lady gaga as an example and how a creepy human-like....... thing (?) like that could be so loveable to millions of (obviously) blind people. But then I would immediately withdraw my argument realising that in this case one may notice the overcompensation in what they serve to the listeners as character and showmanship.

These are my initial vicarious observations about the psychosynthesis of the pop fan. I’m still not satisfied by these observations serving as explanations as to why people insist on supporting this genre and will continue my quest towards finding out the even deeper issues surrounding such questionable yet idiotic choices.
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Image Credits:

http://memegenerator.net/

http://graphjam.memebase.com

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Where Do You Stand In The "Twattering" World?

by Guest Author Jokka

Express your most insightful thoughts to the world in 140 characters or less. Some of us politics students can only dream of a world where social scientists would be so kind as to be that succinct. That said, in the brief time that Twitter has caught and held my attention I have found it somewhat difficult to condense a thought into 140 characters without havin 2 make sum serious compromises 2 my spellin n grama, a task that is in no way natural to me on account of my time spent in the long-winded world of social science. Why use 140 characters when 140 million will do? Because it's fun I hear you cry! Here's my take on the weird and wonderful people who flock to the phenomenon that is twitter.

Image by Tony Gigov

The Nympho Tweeter 

This tweeter is prolific and not afraid to show it. Often these users will log on through their mobile phones, tweeting their every thought, move and traumatic event. Quantity rather than quality is often the angle with this bunch.

E.g. So now Im @ the station waitin 4 my train. Got a mag & sum crisps from the shop. Yay

The Gluttonous Tweeter

Often a direct descendent of the Nympho Tweeter who perhaps has run out of things to say. This tweeter is seemingly always eating, posting details of their every meal and even posting pictures of everything from their gourmet burger at the local gastro pub to their failed attempts at a chocolate soufflé.

E.g. 4 lunch Im havin a BLT sarnie on brown from Greggs n a red Ribena. Dont no 2 get pasty 2

The Comedy Hash-Tag Tweeter 

This is the kind of Tweeter that I one day may aspire to be. Not prolific enough to be annoying, and certainly witty enough to be worth a read, the Comedy Hash-Tag Tweeter will tweet anecdotes from their day, or interesting thoughts and insert a hash-tag with a comic twist. 

Eg. I just realised I can fit 34 grapes into my mouth at once. #slutty

The Trendy Tweeter 

The tweeter will observe what the current trends are on twitter and then proceed to tell everyone who or what is trending, often to their disbelief or disgust, and include them in the post thus continuing the trend. This particular tweeter baffles me. The activity is not dissimilar to the real life scenario created by stock market speculation, without the often horrific consequences, though still just as systemically inevitable and pointless. 

E.g. OMG *insert z-list celeb here* is trending. Why the hell is #*aforementioned z-list celeb* trending!! Uhggh!!

The Retweeter A.k.a The Distribution Tweeter

Pretty self explanatory... They use Twitter for the sole purpose of spreading or re-tweeting what someone else has already said, seemingly unable to make a similar remark in 140 characters or less. Although, they often re-tweet interesting links when they fancy.

E.g. RT wat Thatotherguy656 said

Image by Tony Gigov

The Spam-Twitter Tweeter

Most of what is on the internet is not actually porn as many believe but spam. In actual fact, spam is a tech term for advertising. The real life equivalent of junk mail. Often falls under two sub-categories:

- The Ordinary Spam-Twitter Tweeter

People using twitter to spread phishing scams and advertising club nights, home-made jewellery and just about anything else you can possibly imagine. Ordinary people circulating spam will be reported and possibly banned from Twitter.

- The Celeb Spam-Twitter Tweeter

Celebrities using Twitter to promote their new book, CD, tour, film and anything else you can possibly imagine. Alan Sugar is a frequent offender on my homepage. Celebrities circulating spam will make lots of money and be adored by Twitter. 

E.g. Club Getyourtitsandlegsout.Sat.Cheap drinks.Presentin DJ MydaddyboughtmeamixingdeckandBeatsheadphonesforxmas

E.g. Buy my book u nonces! NOW! *Amazon link*

[BTW - I hope you all enjoyed my play on words dedicated to every ones' favourite surprise meat breakfast treat. It's there for you in good times and nuclear fallout alike].

The Silent Tweeter

Doesn't actually do much tweeting at all but simply uses Twitter to keep tabs on celebrities. Often these are obsessive individuals. May lead to actually physical stalking, which I am obligated to state could lead to prosecution in the United Kingdom.

The Ex-Facebooker Tweeter

People who moved on to using Twitter when they found themselves constantly updating their status and not doing much else.

E.g. #MarkZuckerburgisdissapointedinyou

The Everything-But Tweeter

This tweeter will often be the amalgamation of many kinds of tweeters – Retweeting, spamming, answering to tweets, silently stalking etc... However, regardless of the mix they all have one thing in common. They never tweet any original tweets of their own, but will agree to do 'everything-but', thus keeping their Twitterginity intact – arguably.

The Complicated Tweeter

How would I describe my relationship with Twitter? It's Complicated. I'm a bit of commitment-phobe and I don't want Twitter to get its hopes up. Besides, I might just stay with Facebook for now until google plus' chlamydia clears up.

E.g. I'm really starting to understand this Twitter business #lies

So tell me, what kind of Tweeter are you then?

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Jokka is currently unemployed but will tell stories for food. She loves stand up comedy, Chuck Palahniuk, bizarre films and eating. If she could spend the rest of her life doing one thing she'd spend it on a beach with bottle of rum in one hand and a man with low standards in the other while she dictates her articles to a type-writing parrot with a higher IQ than most of the cast of Glee. She is simultaneously looking forward to and dreading her stand up début next month. You can follow her thoughts by visiting her blog at http://thelaughingarmadillo.blogspot.com/

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Image Credits:

Tony Gigov on http://www.pink-sheep.com

http://www.toondoo.com

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Black N' White World

WARNING: This post is not intended for people who get easily offended.

As you may have noticed by now, I get annoyed with many things in life but the one thing that works every time is human stupidity. Stupidity does not capture the full essence of what I mean here but feel free to substitute with your own preferences. Under stupidity I usually include the following amongst other:

•          Lack of self-awareness
•          Selective narrow-mindedness
•          Lack of intellectual properties/processes
•          Herd-like approaches to opinion
•          Lack of knowledge
•          Ignorance by choice
•          Self-righteousness
•          Hypocrisy

One such manifestation of human stupidity (who I have the good luck of not knowing personally) managed to make my blood boil and the veins in my forehead stick out. This being, which from now on I’ll refer to as the thing posted a picture capturing the various stages of (surgical) abortion. Then underneath that picture there comes the flock.

Opinions were unified under a general hateful theme:

“shame to those who do it”, “horrendous”, “disgusting”, “how can people do it”, “murderers”, “crime”, “I would never do such a thing”, “wrong”, “innocent soul”, “whores those who do it” and my personal favourites “religion says it’s wrong” & “babies are godsend gifts”!

If you are amongst people who have such opinions, then you might want to look away and not read any further. The thing that posted that picture claims to be an educated person and from a discipline where such black and white opinions are not encouraged or promoted. But anyway I will not focus on the stupidity of just one person, it would be rather unfair!

First of all, there are two types of people who see the world in black and white:

1. Genuinely narrow-minded: The type of person, who refuses any alternatives offered to them, despite the provision of good arguments.
   
           Example: “There is a god, and he is watching us. Darwin was just another nutter who sailed around the world and collected birds for a hobby."
2. Ignorant: This is the type of person, who refuses to use the few brain cells that kind Nature offered to them and prefers to go along with the flow or the masses.
   Example: “Religion and society teaches us that women are inferior to men; shame on those who go out there and follow their dreams.”

To be frank, I don’t know which is worse. But, I am shocked that 99% of the comments published under the picture that the thing posted came from women and from people that grew up in an era where issues of morality and ethics are relative. I am not getting into the whole abortion debate as we all know the arguments for and against, and really, that’s not the issue here. I will focus more on the stupidity involved in “thinking” of such sensitive subjects.

As I read through the comments I realised that I was more pissed off with not what they were writing per se, but the way all of them agreed with one another like they were members of some sort of secret society of grand virtue, intelligence, morality, and court-like standards. I wouldn’t be surprised if these people turned out to be the same ones that argue for the idea of an Aryan race, exhibit Hitler-like characteristics, believe that the Earth is only 2,000 years old, or believe that there is a white-bearded white man sitting on a cloud holding a lighting and waiting to strike someone that did something “wrong”.

On the other hand, these same (hypocritical) people may engage in morally questionable actions during their everyday lives. But who cares about all these when you have in front of you a “baby murderer” right? That is the ultimate sin, they say, because you choose to “kill”, or let a human being die. Well, I’ve got news for you: people die every day, in Africa 60 babies per day do so.

People, the world is not black and white. If it is, then you are probably a dog (that’s a myth by the way). As I argued before, we are all hypocritical in nature. But at least some of us have the ability to keep our mouths shut when appropriate, or at least try and express our opinion in a civilised, educated way.

Oh, and just to clarify, babies are not godsend; they come from a blind date between an eager sperm and a very popular egg.

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Heavy Metal Under Study

The days of court battles, PMRC (Parents Music Resource Center), and accusations of satanic lyrics (and other “evils”) by Heavy Metal bands from religious fundamentalists and journalists alike may be long gone but that era has definitely left its mark on our favourite musical genre. You assume that a well-educated person, meaning a person with rich life experiences and the ability for critical thinking (rather than actual degrees – what I would call “reservoir toilet paper of the highest quality”), will be in a position to look back and laugh at the naive and ignorant society of the 80s. And most do.

But the stigma that Heavy Metal carried through to the 00s has become such mainstream that it attracted the attention of the higher levels of the academic and scientific communities.  Along come academic research and the New wave of “Metal Studies” (NWOMS – my own abbreviation!). After the ridiculous attack from the even more ridiculous ignorant PMRC in the early 80s, psychologists and other scientists decided to look into this social phenomenon in more detail.

Studies stripped down Heavy Metal; from song lyrics and MTV videos to stage presence. They looked for subliminal messages in songs of bands like Judas Priest and Twister Sister, the promotion of sex, drugs, and self-destructive behaviours and many more. Below are some scientifically derived (?) yet really hilarious conclusions about the Heavy Metal fans:

“. . .a mass following of youth, their denim clothes covered in studs and appliqué, their hair long and wild so as to swing freely when they shook their heads in time with the music – what they called head-banging”

Cashmore (1984, p. 37)

“Contingents of longhaired, denimed males . . . consuming large quantities of beer and playing imaginary guitar runs in sycophant homage to their alter egos performing on the stage”

Chambers (1985, p. 123) on the Reading and Knebworth festival goers

Now I am not saying these scientists were crazy for researching the relationship between Heavy Metal music preference and anti-social behaviours, suicide, anxiety, and depression. But as expected of poor and highly biased methodologies, studies offered conflicting evidence in all areas, be it psychological, social, or cultural and not many reliable conclusions. Brown (2011), from which the above quotations were extracted, reports that research has now shifted its focus from looking at Heavy Metal as a social problem to a more cultural and musicological approach (i.e. NWOMS).

This sort of research may not appeal or even be known to the average Heavy Metal fan and really, who cares what happens within the scientific/academic community, right? Well, it may sound boring but truth is that proper research approaches and methodologies undertaken by serious researchers who understand the Heavy Metal music and its “culture”, will manage to catch the attention of fans and educate them about the important aspects of their favourite genre.

My new found respect for the NWOMS derives mainly from people like Sam Dunn a Canadian musician, film director, and anthropologist (you probably know him as the director of Metal: A Headbangers Journey, Global Metal, and Iron Maiden: Flight 666) as well as Keith Kahn Harris a writer, sociologist, and music critic.

Heavy Metal music intrigues scientists and inspires research that may even lead to joke-like quotations like the above-mentioned, benefit to our own amusement. It might have given birth to strange phenomena such as head-banging, air guitar and provocative attire but at least it’s not responsible for plague-like phenomena such as women who want to be called “Lady”, have a weird fond of umbrellas or wish for you to hit them one more time!

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Article reference:

Brown, AR (2011). Heavy Genealogy: Mapping the Currents, Contraflows and Conflicts of the Emergent Field of Metal Studies, 1978-2010. Journal for Cultural Research, 15 (3), 213-242.

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Image credits:

http://en.wikipedia.org/

http://www.examiner.com

http://www.imdb.com

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Pretentious Apologies

Greetings humans.
I am back from what it was a holiday full of booze and annoying friendly interactions. To get into the subject, I first want to "apologise" for not writing for a while. Truth is my creative juices were running low, probably due to excessive drinking (not recommended). I write mostly out of annoyance. I found it hard to get annoyed while on holiday in my home country, probably due to the short stay. Good times....

Back in London now though and here I am annoyed again. And my annoyance is caused by pretentious apologies from pretentious or even kind in nature people. Both of these are equally annoying, pretentious or not. And I explain: You know when you walk in the chaos that it is Oxford Street and somebody-obviously in a great rush-nearly walks on you to get through? Or when you stand at the edge of the train holding a boiling hot coffee in your hands and as the doors close someone jumps in, pushes you with full force as you visualise the 3rd degree burns on your hands? Or when somebody next to you is listening to their favourite pop music with those £300 noise cancelling headphones which obviously don't work that well? Or when you stand in a packed tube carriage and someone's penis is dangerously close to your bum?

All the above are valid situations for someone, i.e. the above-mentioned idiots, to apologise for. I know I would be really pissed off if they didn't. There are times though where an apology is not necessary or even appropriate. Come on, we all pushed, ever so slightly, while overtaking a hopelessly slow wanderer in front of us. Similarly, we all grabbed someone's hand or even stepped on them while trying not to die as the tube driver brakes relentlessly. And there are times when we only have £20 notes when buying a £1 bottle of water. Why should we apologise for that?

Still, we apologise for major things, we apologise for minor things, we apologise to someone pushing us, we apologise for breathing, we even apologise for existing. And most do it instinctively without even realising it. No need for a friendly pat in the back, hell no need for eye contact! No apologetic body language. This phenomenon is evident all over Britain. Especially amongst Londoners (of various ethnicities- this is for the sensitive ones). Why this fake apologetic culture? I personally don't understand and refuse to believe is common courtesy. There are some deeper issues here.

On the other hand, [and to avoid the decorative name calling i.e. impolite, ignorant, racist] I came back from a country where "sorry", "pardon me" etc are not used that often. You will not find many of the Greeks apologising for anything. They don't feel that urge to not be misunderstood. They are as loud and as arrogant as you could possibly imagine. They will push you to get ahead, they will step on you, they will call you names as they do, and they will not feel sorry about it. Ok, maybe I am going too far but I want to make a point.

Can't there be a middle ground for that? Can't we just take the British politeness and combine it with some of the Greek laid back attitude? Do we really need to commercialise the art of apologising? It's not too much to request a genuine apology for something substantial now is it? So next time you accidentally push me, there is no need to apologise for it. But if your armpit is in my face or your penis is anywhere near my bum, you better beg for forgiveness!  
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Image credits:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/

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The Evil Top Lists

Let's face it. We have all succumbed to the simplicity and the doubtful usefulness of top-like lists at some point. These are usually numbered ideas of what it is considered top in a specific area of interest or disinterest. They come in different forms and derive from the use of various creative thinking (in)abilities.

I always find myself googling to find out the "best" or "top" choices and ideas for me. From trip destinations, gift ideas, new music directions to life-changing advice. But I can't stop thinking of the evilness of these simple writings. For starters, they are completely subjective to one person's or "expert" committee's opinion.

The worst kind of top-like lists falling under this critique are the ones rating musical greatness, be it instrumental, lyrical, or performance. I apologise for thinking that anyone who has ears and intact perceptual processes can be a critic of music. Okay, fair enough, there are people who need the additional push of having a higher IQ, especially if they are drawn to pop music (don't want to be repetitive but pop music requires none of the above). Furthermore, since when is talent measurable and reducible to lists? It certainly shows, but on the other hand what defines Jimi Hendrix's guitar playing greater than Jimmy Page's as to be placed on the top of all "best guitar players" lists? Is it perhaps his revolutionary approach to guitar playing? Or maybe his musical impact? Who knows?

My second critique to top-like lists is their restrictive nature. They push you into thinking "What if I don't like that? What if I have other preferences? Am I uncool or not expert enough? Or maybe I'm missing something here". I know I thought I missed something when I followed many top destination lists' advice and went to Lisbon. I'm sorry, but comparatively, Lisbon is no top and no destination for that matter (no offence, I still love the Portuguese).

Another evil side of top-like lists is the way they lure you into not thinking and not trying to figure solutions youself. For example, let's take the pretentious how to lists, especially the ones dealing with life changes. "How to become happier in 5 simple steps" or the more sought after "10 rules to loosing your belly fat". Give me a break! Happiness is not a five step plan and the belly fat will probably not go away by ruling out. Unless you are advanced enough to find a way to put a lock on your mouth, or modify your genes.

And for the irony of it I made my own lists of top-like lists and categorised them by usefulness.

Top 5 useful top-like lists:
1. 10 simple rules to being a human being
Because the truth is some of us do need some guidance in that area
2. 25 successful tips to tax evasion plus 5 bonus tips on cheating death 
Because you can't avoid either according to somebody who had too much free time that enabled them to come up with it
3. Top 5 ways of cooking potatoes
Because they are awesome
4. 50 hints that your life sucks
Because you can never be certain enough
5. Top 10 evolutionary advances you should already possess
Because you should

Top 5 useless top-like lists:
1. 5 techniques to impress a woman
Because they won't work
2. Top 100 pop songs of all time
Because they don't exist
3. 10 strategies to spice-up your sex life
Because you'll probably end up divorced or in hospital
4. 7 steps to a happier life
Because happiness is subjective and doesn't happen in steps
5. 15 ways to look cool
Because if you haven't got it, drop it

My point is, you live, you fail, and you learn. You don't need ready-made guides on music taste, happiness, dating, or whatever other "bestness" is served out there by people who have nothing better to do. If you cannot avoid it though, browse and enjoy the diverse evilness of different lists created by intelligent aliens seeking to take over the world.
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Image credits:
http://www.searchamelia.com
http://theplanetd.com

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