What Does It Take to Be a Doctor?

I’m sure most of you have heard that the living legend, riff virtuoso Tony Iommi has received his long overdue official recognition. He finally got an honorary doctorate of arts from Coventry University. And I’m also sure some of them, namely the pretentious, self-righteous, and know-it-all Drs of all sorts snorted in derision when they read about it and other similar stories before that. Well, as a Dr in the making myself I say to them: Suck it up!

I've been wanting to express my views on my road to Doctorship and now the time has come! I said it before and I’ll say it whenever I get the chance: becoming a doctor doesn't mean anything. Well, it means something but it does not mean you are smarter, more educated, or even evolutionary more advanced than everybody else. It does not make you a Mensa member (in fact, what does that even mean?), you are not superior (well a little but more on this later), and by no means you are more intelligent than the average person.

So this is what becoming a doctor actually means:

1. You spend a considerable amount of years studying a particular area.
2. You then spend an even more considerable amount of years trying to contribute to that area.
3.  You acquire skills and proficiency in that specific area over the years and ‘till your death.
4.  You eat shit in the process. You meet great and not so great (borderline sociopathic) people. You make connections. You learn how to regulate your emotions and how not to be humane. You lose faith in yourself. You become arrogant and then humble again. You doubt, despise, and hate yourself. You uncover the mystery behind humans and politics. You regret. You lose yourself and you find you again. You anathematize your existence and the choice to go through this road almost every day yet...
5. ...you love every single thing about it.
6. You then think you are an expert in your field.
7. You are actually recognised as an expert in your field.
8. You get the decorative prefix Dr in front of your name and the frame that goes with it.

The above process (or torment) is usually performed in the safe and well-regulated (most of the times) nest of a University in 3 to 10+ years. As I said, it won’t make you more intelligent than average nor does it mean you were so in the first place. It simply grounds you, it can kill your idealism, and it can challenge your values and ideas. Anyone can get into it but few will get out of it as winners. Winning is going through it all and not losing yourself in the process. I’m still struggling.

Now back to Mr. Iommi (or should I say Dr?). I urge you (and more so the pretentious Drs out there) to take another look at points 1 to 7 above. Tony Iommi has been through all of these. Not just once but hundreds of times for nearly 50 years now. Only now, he gets his no. 8. I will get it after 3 years, just because I pay the University my fees and do it in a controlled way. I don’t know about you but I feel humbled by the thought of it. For the only equivalent to Iommi is a wrinkly 60-year-old Professor of behavioural science in my field. His education did not come from a university; it came from a greater source: LIFE. So I salute you Dr Iommi. It was about time. And all of you out there condescending bores, suck it up, will you?

P.S. Some more awesome honorary Doctors (not necessarily of music): Bruce Dickinson, Steve Vai, Alice Cooper, Joan Baez, Jon Lord, Paul McCartney, Mark Knopfler, THE Bob Dylan, Jon Bon Jovi, Steven Tyler, Brian May and more.

                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Image credits:

Classic Rock Magazine

Black-Sabbath.com

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Review of Download Festival 2013

A review of the happenings at Download Festival 2013, Saturday 15th, Donington Park, UK

This year I almost didn't go. Yeah, I know! What was I thinking, right? Well, the line-up was average, money was tight, and our group was minimizing. Damn you economic depression! But then I thought: Iron Maiden. And I went. We stayed in the Main Stage for the whole day because of the mud, rain, wind, and errr the poor line-up I mentioned above. Sadly, we missed UFO and got in just in time for the the rest.

BLACK STAR RIDERS (AKA THIN LIZZY)

The latest incarnation of Thin Lizzy. I had no idea they changed their name and re-introduced themselves as such! I saw Thin Lizzy back in 2011 at High Voltage festival and enjoyed them very much. This time, refreshed I guess by the recent name change was no different. It took me a while to realise I was listening to and watching Thin Lizzy to be honest. They were quite good although lacking the energy I saw in 2011. Old age you say? Bollocks I say! I'd give them a 7/10 purely because of the short time slot which didn't allow them to play a longer setlist. It seems the boys never left town after all!

MASTODON 

Trying to decide between them and Katatonia, we decided to go for them. I wanted to see Mastodon for a while so it was the perfect chance. I don't claim to be a huge fan as I don't follow them too much but their latest album was really good. By the end of their set I was neither impressed nor disappointed which says a lot. I was left feeling indifferent and only slightly more interested in them. They were good but lacked enthusiasm. Despite that, I would see them again just in case! I give them a 6/10 with the hope that next time they'll surprise me more. By the way, they are a weird-looking bunch of guys aren't they?

ALICE IN CHAINS

Yeah what a surprise. Me, watching a grunge band. I liked Alice in Chains and although I don't enjoy grunge I always wanted to see them. The people there seemed to enjoy them so that says more than I can say. After listening about bones, rivers, brains and some roosters I catch my self yawning repeatedly. Sorry guys as much as you hate to admit it you are a grunge band and definitely not metal. There is so much grunge you can listen before you end up either brain-dead or killing your self because there is no hope left. I give Alice in Chains a 7/10 because they had good energy (only as much energy a grunge band can have!) and made people go nuts.

MOTORHEAD

 By this time you'd think "why did she even bother going then?". Here's your answer. Lemmy!!! Oh, and the waiting around impatiently was so worth it. Motorhead managed to do what none of the previous bands did; wake us up with a sound punch in the face. This year's Download suffered a lot from sound problems as the strong winds and rain did not make it easy for our ears. Lemmy fixed it. He turned up the volume to 11 and played his heart out. You'd probably say I'm very subjective as I'm known to be in love with Mr. Kilmister but I dare anybody to give me an example of a gig feat. Motorhead that they did not like. Lemmy talked to us but we did not understand. Then Lemmy played his bass and sang his songs and we didn't care about anything anymore. The special appearance of Phil Taylor was a pleasant surprise. The setlist was less than enough and I felt desperate thinking of what was to follow.  After all, they are Motorhead and they play rock n' roll and they always get a 10/10.

Rhetorical questions from our group expressed that night: Isn't Lemmy ready to settle yet? If diabetes didn't make Lemmy stop drinking what would? Is Motorhead's tour bus full of Jack Daniels, cokes, and Big Bang Theory box sets? Was there any single person who managed to get Lemmy drunk? How come Lemmy is still so humble?  Are Motorhead deaf yet? 

QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE

What a load of bullshit! What the hell is wrong with the Download organisers? Is it JUST me that believes bands like them don't belong in Download main stage line-ups? Especially before Iron Maiden and after (!) Motorhead! Honestly, I really don't get it. I spent that time sat down resting my legs, preparing mentally for Iron Maiden, re-filling my pint, and voiding my bladder! And they were still playing after all these. Sorry Queens of the Stone Age fans out there, this band sucks, big time. I won't bother rating the experience as I blocked the noise out. Photo is included for the sake of the review.

IRON MAIDEN

The legends! As their status requires, they were introduced by a spitfire which we thought was piloted by Bruce himself. Then they enter the stage and history is written. Whatever I say about them is not going to be enough really. I screamed and screamed 'till no voice was left. I danced around, banged my head, and smiled 'till my jaw went numb! The energy, the pyro, the show, the setlist, the Eddie re-incarnations, their brilliance! The show was not enough. I wanted more. Do I need to mention I give them a 10/10? Steve Harris is genius. Who writes songs like these? And Bruce... What Bruce's voice may be lacking nowadays (always in relation to when he was younger) he makes up for in energy, stage presence, enthusiasm, and all-round excellence! Sometimes I do wonder if Bruce managed to find that fountain of youth that Captain Sparrow was looking for. He is too good to be true, is he not?

THINGS I LEARNED/REALISED AT DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL 2013:

1. I prefer my metal pure.
2. Download gets less and less creative in it's line-ups.
3. Mastodon is a really good band but they seriously need to re-think those hairstyles.
4. Grunge is definitely not my cup of tea. Definitely.
5. Lemmy must be god. He subtly proves it every time he picks his bass and steps on the stage.
6. I want to know what it is that people like about Queens of the Stone Age as I personally don't get it.
7. There should be a National Iron Maiden day declared in the UK. Just because you people are so lucky they are British.
8. I could imagine myself putting a food stall and selling souvlaki next to the main stage at some point in the future!
9. Once a year is not enough; make Donwload a twice-a-year happening.

Limited videos arriving soon on my YouTube channel here.

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Precious Rocks & Rare Heavy Metals: Chapter 1

The first of a series of fun articles aiming to explore the impact that Rock and Heavy Metal artists/bands had on the world and the impact the world had on them. This series will cover a number of artists so all favourites will be presented.

Please note: There is no specific reason (e.g. greatness, preference etc) for the order bands are presented!

AC/DC 

The only band refusing to put their songs to be sold separately on iTunes and yet they have the lowest rates of music piracy. Coincidence? Don’t think so; traditional values is what defined AC/DC in the first place. But not only do they attract millions of fans, the Rock N’ Roll giants have a strange effect on the great white shark as well. According to a tour operator that organises cruises in Australia, after many attempts, he managed to find the secret in attracting the sharks close to the ship. These remarkable mammals are specifically fond of songs like “You shook me all night long” and “If you want blood”. Experts attribute this phenomenon to the sensitivity of the specific species to low sound frequencies, a characteristic of most of AC/DC’s music!

It’s not that this conclusion derived from rigorous research, yet no one can deny AC/DC’s awesomeness, even the animal kingdom. I wonder how the great white would react to Lady Gaga but all I know is that I wouldn’t want to be there when it happens...
Full shark story here.

IRON MAIDEN

Probably the band responsible for not so much as incorporating but establishing the intelligence factor in Heavy Metal. It’s frontman, Dr. Bruce Dickinson a.k.a. “The Air Raid Siren”, is the definition of a renaissance person. His talents range from piloting, fencing, writing, broadcasting, script-writing, acting, marketing, and some more which I am sure he doesn’t care sharing. He has a history degree from Queen Mary, University of London (for those that don’t know already, one of the best in the UK and worldwide) and has recently been awarded an honorary doctorate of music from the same University. The University’s announcement can be found here.

In an ingorant society like ours where people consider Heavy Metal as the caveman’s music, bands like Iron Maiden step in to show us otherwise. It is a fact that lyrics as much as music in Heavy Metal do require a bit of homework if bands are to be taken seriously by fans. In addition, the once-thought uncultured genre, is now followed by more intelligent fans than any other. Although some good research still needs to be done on this subject here is an interesting outline of a study from Warwick University which found that gifted students prefer Heavy Metal.

BLACK SABBATH

Widely famous, not just for being the godfathers of Heavy Metal but for other oddities as well. We all know about their obsession with the occult and have heard a thing or two of Ozzy’s mischief. But the most distinctive characteristic that defined what Black Sabbath came to be during the past decades is Iommi’s re-invention of the “Devil’s chord” or the tritone. The tritone was also evident in Wagner’s compositions and represented evil (i.e. devil, sex, and lust), for which it was banned during the Middle Ages. When asked how he came up with it, Tony said that it simply felt right.

Imagine how differently Heavy Metal would have evolved if Iommi hadn’t “discovered” the specific musical interval. For those of you that do know a bit more about music here is a piece on how to play like Tony. I’d like to see you try!

AEROSMITH

Admittedly, the most remarkable thing about Aerosmith is Steven Tyler’s wide vocal range and technique. Steven featured in National Geographic’s documentary “The Incredible Human Machine”, where you can literally see his vocal chords vibrating at up to 170 times per second during his famous scream falsetto on “Dream On” whilst performing live! Some say he’s falling into the category of a low tenor. You can catch the clip from the documentary here.

There are very few vocalists that have amazing vocal abilities and it’s no surprise that many come from the Rock and Heavy Metal genre. I came across this interesting blog post where a voice teacher with no prior knowledge of them, analyses the vocals of 5 great Heavy Metal singers, amongst them, the great Rob Halford. Although the title is a bit patronising for its purpose, it is still worth a read. Read it here.   


Watch this space for the next chapter of this series.
Chapter 2 can now be found here.

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Image Credits:

http://morpheusefx.com

http://www.ironmaiden.com

http://www.metalhammer.gr
http://www.seacoastonline.com

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Why I Choose Heavy Metal (Why Should You?)

I tried...technically! I can't say that I haven't.

I tried to listen to popular music, when at the age of 9 or 10 (I don't really remember and honestly, I try not to), I found myself collecting photos of boybands (you know, the ones that surprisingly enough have lost their other half and cry their eyes out because they are alone singing on a rainy night? Those ones!). You see, boybands where a hit in the 90s era. The thing is, though, I don't even know a song of theirs if you ask me now (it is a fact that your brain automatically blocks stressful or negative experiences).

People who know me would say that hearing is not the best of my 5 (or maybe 6?) senses. My own little research suggests this is probably attributed to several vain attempts to listen to a whole Britney Spears song instead of several years of Heavy Metal madness.

You see, even then, I kind of felt that pop (where the hell does that term come from anyway?) was not the music that "touched" my heart (probably because it's empty, shallow, and useless) and I realised that quite early in my life - thankfully long before I had my ears exploding from all the crap they had to endure and before all my brain cells had the chance to melt away, while I was trying to discover myself!

My induction to the "Heavy Metal Family" happened when my heart skipped a beat while listening to the combination of Ozzy's vocals and Iommi's musical genius on Electric Funeral. My full conversion took place while listening to AC/DC when I realised I was actually heading for heaven and not hell, as instructed...



Heavy Metal has always been misunderstood by society although it's the most genuine genre out there (not considering the blood-sucking production companies - hey, the world is not that perfect - and the odd band complex with money - yes Lars I am talking about you).


On the contrary, pop music has been reduced to vanity because of:

1. The song lyrics - a 10 yr old would come up with a better line than "umbrella, ella, ella...oh!" or "hit me baby one more time" (honestly shoot the guy that writes this crap, it's an intellectual if not a social crime damn it)
 2. The music - which is completely computerised and basically indistinctive (wait a minute, I thought music = instruments, no? Well, what do I know!)
 3. The voice - better put a cow sing since the performer only needs to move lips and other appropriate body parts
 4. The "artist" - who is made to order (too much make-up, too little clothes, few brain cells and even less synapses)

Music needs to make sense, right? Just an overview of the great musicians and performers of all time indicates that most come from the Rock n' Roll and Heavy Metal music genres (truth is in these genres if you are crap you are ripped to pieces by fans, deservingly so!). Heavy Metal artists appreciate the experience of producing something great and most of the times meaningful (I admit there are some "diamonds" out there too - the glam years produced most of these and so did the 00s).


What I am trying to say is that Heavy Metal with all its oddities (Marilyn Manson, Alice Cooper), its strange/invalid connection to the occult (Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin), its social stigma (i.e. sex, drugs, & rock n' roll), its weird phenomena (air guitar, headbanging, sign of the horns), its exceptional vocalists (RJ Dio, Rob Halford, Bruce Dickinson, Robert Plant etc), its musical geniuses (Tony Iommi, Keith Richards, Jimmy Page etc), its out-of-this-world lyricists (RJ Dio - yes again!, Lemmy Kilmister etc), its uncounted lawsuits (Twisted Sister, Judas Priest, Manson), its anthems (Stairway to Heaven, Smoke on the Water, Back in Black, Sweet Child of Mine and many more), is undoubtedly the most versatile music genre which remains strong even after 40 years, which still recruits more and more fans, a genre which, when it evolves, it does so in the most creative and amazing way possible.


Allow yourself to go to just one live gig, watch the passion and energy with which each band member delivers and the ecstasy of the crowd, and tell me then if you actually need drugs to get you that high!

Welcome to the Heavy Metal world!
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Image credits:
http://www.metal-army.com/
http://www.black-sabbath.com/
https://www.acdc.com/uk/
http://www.ledzeppelin.com

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