"IT" Is The Life

by guest author while(TRUE){life();}

This piece is dedicated to all the engineers, tech-savvies, and geeks out there. A timeline of progress, disappointment, anger management issues, and liberation! 

The Education 
HND in Computer Engineering
BEng in Computer Engineering
MSc in Data Communication

The Student Experience 
During my years at uni I got everything that anyone could ever imagine: made good friends, was taught how to think like an engineer, did fun projects, and spent countless hours in labs (even the pizza guy learned were the labs were and came knocking on the door to deliver the usual!). My knowledge of communication systems was growing exponentially on a daily basis and something inside me was always pushing me to go the extra mile, like changing the code of a software so we can file-share with friends.

The First Job 

Junior Network Engineer: new toys, new experience, and a lot more to learn. I was working on a production system an entire company was depending on with everything working like a Swiss watch. I wish I could say that was true for me at the beginning of my career! That something inside me kept me going and going, no stop for me until I got it right; playing with new toys is like a fat kid in a candy store for an engineer (ok, ok for the sake of political correctness let’s say overweight). Within a year I became the lead, the authority on everything and anything (in engineering terms the “in case s**t man”). I was learning fast and I was having fun and I was getting paid for it as well, the trifecta for any engineer out there. Light-bulb moments were coming in thick and fast.  

The Wake-up Call 
Then a change happened. I came across office politics. I do not like office politics, I do not do office gossip, and I hate back-stabbers (that’s right, you all shall burn in hell). That is not my game, I'm an engineer, genetically programmed to look at the cold hard facts and formulate an answer to a problem. But I soon realised... office politics do work. Knowledge-less people were moving up the ladder, playing with Facebook all day long (that’s right am part of the resistance) while others dealt with problems they caused. Well, I consider them f***ing parasites! That something inside me started to get really upset. I kept everything in check, kept true and worked smart and hard.

Career Take 2
Solutions Architect: new people, new opportunities, new systems to learn. I was part of a team that were the technical experts on any technology the company had to offer. It didn't took me long, six months down the line I became the team leader, I was performing training courses from the most advanced technologies to entry-level for everyone. For any difficulty that came along, I was the answer. The trifecta was back, learning new technologies, sharing knowledge and getting paid for it. Before the year coming to an end I was awarded as one of the top business' performers.

The Games
Funny how things change though, it took a year before I started noticing the office politics again. I locked horns with one of the sales directors; these guys really don't like us! The engineer in me prevailed. Keep true I said to myself, keep true. That evil thing inside me kept growing stronger and stronger by the day though.

The Realisation
Well after that fiasco and almost two years down the line I have seen some ugly truths and even more ugly people! The same pattern over and over again, knowledge-less idiots move along the line, just by using office politics. They steal your ideas present them as their own and get the credit for it. Well that is office politics for you people. Still, there are technology companies out there that have it right and that is why they are called pioneers of technology.

Moving On 

Now I have interviews lined up and it all looks good, but that thing inside me has grown into a full figure with black attire, an army of evil, and some respiratory problems. It’s getting harder and harder to keep IT in line (see what I did there?). But its voice is always there in the background whispering... 

WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE DO HAVE COOKIES!!!
(and gaming platforms, gadgets, and loose virtual women)

                                                                                                                                                                                                      

 while(TRUE){life();} has now got a job that he is temporarily happy with. He is so intelligent as to be considered a genius by his friends who expect him to make lots of money and share the wealth with his fanclub. He is a proud geek, gamer, and spectacle-wearer and does think that geeks rule [honestly]. He is also the only member of the Facebook Résistance and quite paranoid about his digital footprint and for these reasons only you cannot really follow him anywhere. Except in real life. But that would make you a stalker. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Image credits:

perspectives.3ds.com

www.wallforever.info

vi.sualize.us

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Black N' White World

WARNING: This post is not intended for people who get easily offended.

As you may have noticed by now, I get annoyed with many things in life but the one thing that works every time is human stupidity. Stupidity does not capture the full essence of what I mean here but feel free to substitute with your own preferences. Under stupidity I usually include the following amongst other:

•          Lack of self-awareness
•          Selective narrow-mindedness
•          Lack of intellectual properties/processes
•          Herd-like approaches to opinion
•          Lack of knowledge
•          Ignorance by choice
•          Self-righteousness
•          Hypocrisy

One such manifestation of human stupidity (who I have the good luck of not knowing personally) managed to make my blood boil and the veins in my forehead stick out. This being, which from now on I’ll refer to as the thing posted a picture capturing the various stages of (surgical) abortion. Then underneath that picture there comes the flock.

Opinions were unified under a general hateful theme:

“shame to those who do it”, “horrendous”, “disgusting”, “how can people do it”, “murderers”, “crime”, “I would never do such a thing”, “wrong”, “innocent soul”, “whores those who do it” and my personal favourites “religion says it’s wrong” & “babies are godsend gifts”!

If you are amongst people who have such opinions, then you might want to look away and not read any further. The thing that posted that picture claims to be an educated person and from a discipline where such black and white opinions are not encouraged or promoted. But anyway I will not focus on the stupidity of just one person, it would be rather unfair!

First of all, there are two types of people who see the world in black and white:

1. Genuinely narrow-minded: The type of person, who refuses any alternatives offered to them, despite the provision of good arguments.
   
           Example: “There is a god, and he is watching us. Darwin was just another nutter who sailed around the world and collected birds for a hobby."
2. Ignorant: This is the type of person, who refuses to use the few brain cells that kind Nature offered to them and prefers to go along with the flow or the masses.
   Example: “Religion and society teaches us that women are inferior to men; shame on those who go out there and follow their dreams.”

To be frank, I don’t know which is worse. But, I am shocked that 99% of the comments published under the picture that the thing posted came from women and from people that grew up in an era where issues of morality and ethics are relative. I am not getting into the whole abortion debate as we all know the arguments for and against, and really, that’s not the issue here. I will focus more on the stupidity involved in “thinking” of such sensitive subjects.

As I read through the comments I realised that I was more pissed off with not what they were writing per se, but the way all of them agreed with one another like they were members of some sort of secret society of grand virtue, intelligence, morality, and court-like standards. I wouldn’t be surprised if these people turned out to be the same ones that argue for the idea of an Aryan race, exhibit Hitler-like characteristics, believe that the Earth is only 2,000 years old, or believe that there is a white-bearded white man sitting on a cloud holding a lighting and waiting to strike someone that did something “wrong”.

On the other hand, these same (hypocritical) people may engage in morally questionable actions during their everyday lives. But who cares about all these when you have in front of you a “baby murderer” right? That is the ultimate sin, they say, because you choose to “kill”, or let a human being die. Well, I’ve got news for you: people die every day, in Africa 60 babies per day do so.

People, the world is not black and white. If it is, then you are probably a dog (that’s a myth by the way). As I argued before, we are all hypocritical in nature. But at least some of us have the ability to keep our mouths shut when appropriate, or at least try and express our opinion in a civilised, educated way.

Oh, and just to clarify, babies are not godsend; they come from a blind date between an eager sperm and a very popular egg.

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Pretentious Apologies

Greetings humans.
I am back from what it was a holiday full of booze and annoying friendly interactions. To get into the subject, I first want to "apologise" for not writing for a while. Truth is my creative juices were running low, probably due to excessive drinking (not recommended). I write mostly out of annoyance. I found it hard to get annoyed while on holiday in my home country, probably due to the short stay. Good times....

Back in London now though and here I am annoyed again. And my annoyance is caused by pretentious apologies from pretentious or even kind in nature people. Both of these are equally annoying, pretentious or not. And I explain: You know when you walk in the chaos that it is Oxford Street and somebody-obviously in a great rush-nearly walks on you to get through? Or when you stand at the edge of the train holding a boiling hot coffee in your hands and as the doors close someone jumps in, pushes you with full force as you visualise the 3rd degree burns on your hands? Or when somebody next to you is listening to their favourite pop music with those £300 noise cancelling headphones which obviously don't work that well? Or when you stand in a packed tube carriage and someone's penis is dangerously close to your bum?

All the above are valid situations for someone, i.e. the above-mentioned idiots, to apologise for. I know I would be really pissed off if they didn't. There are times though where an apology is not necessary or even appropriate. Come on, we all pushed, ever so slightly, while overtaking a hopelessly slow wanderer in front of us. Similarly, we all grabbed someone's hand or even stepped on them while trying not to die as the tube driver brakes relentlessly. And there are times when we only have £20 notes when buying a £1 bottle of water. Why should we apologise for that?

Still, we apologise for major things, we apologise for minor things, we apologise to someone pushing us, we apologise for breathing, we even apologise for existing. And most do it instinctively without even realising it. No need for a friendly pat in the back, hell no need for eye contact! No apologetic body language. This phenomenon is evident all over Britain. Especially amongst Londoners (of various ethnicities- this is for the sensitive ones). Why this fake apologetic culture? I personally don't understand and refuse to believe is common courtesy. There are some deeper issues here.

On the other hand, [and to avoid the decorative name calling i.e. impolite, ignorant, racist] I came back from a country where "sorry", "pardon me" etc are not used that often. You will not find many of the Greeks apologising for anything. They don't feel that urge to not be misunderstood. They are as loud and as arrogant as you could possibly imagine. They will push you to get ahead, they will step on you, they will call you names as they do, and they will not feel sorry about it. Ok, maybe I am going too far but I want to make a point.

Can't there be a middle ground for that? Can't we just take the British politeness and combine it with some of the Greek laid back attitude? Do we really need to commercialise the art of apologising? It's not too much to request a genuine apology for something substantial now is it? So next time you accidentally push me, there is no need to apologise for it. But if your armpit is in my face or your penis is anywhere near my bum, you better beg for forgiveness!  
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Image credits:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/

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Pretentious Open-mindedness

Definition: Excessive or unnecessary display of receptiveness to new or different ideas in an attempt to be "unique"

Synonyms: Bullshitting, shamming, feigning

Applies to: Idiots who think they are "it"

Examples (conscious or sub-conscious reality in parenthesis):

"I am really open-minded man, I mean, I can appreciate all sorts of music" (after all, I believe I am the musical critic of the century and too cool to be associated with just one genre, though.... I really want to fit damn it!)

"I am not racist at all, actually I have friends from all over the world " (since I really want to be the person that changes the world and the way it operates in a vain attempt to be different and develop my low self-esteem)

"I am in an open relationship and I actually like it" (go on try it yourself... with my girlfriend/boyfriend, just don't tell people I am actually so insecure I can't live with myself)

"I believe in my own religion, but I can accept other people's beliefs too" (although I am so eager to look beyond religious boundaries because of my own self-doubt in terms of morality)

"I am not homophobic, I have gay friends too" (if they try to hit on me, I am out because I feel that my sexuality is above everything and anyone who tries to challenge it)

"I can accept criticism, in fact it intrigues me" (although it is a fact that I am perfect and I can do the favour of listening to what normal people have to say since I think I am the smartest person that ever existed on this earth - though without any original ideas)

"I am the coolest person you know, I can accept you as you are" (deep down inside I hate your guts and I hope you die, you lame excuse of a human being)

There are many more examples for which I will need to access the subconscious level to find but will try and add later on.

Disclaimer: I am not excluding myself from the above, in fact what I am trying to say is that this is a way of life for many people. I am criticising those who choose not to admit it and still think they belong in a higher class of the human species (or should I say, animal kingdom?).

With great respect and open-mindedness as always! :)
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Image credit:
http://www.funnysigns.net/

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Human Hypocrisy/ Delusional Life

I have noticed that the most common characteristic in human beings is hypocrisy, mainly towards themselves. And here is why...

Every person has the need to delude themselves during most (if not all) of their day. It starts in the morning, when you pretend to have woken up from what you consider a great sleep and you feel excitement for the day, or more specifically for the job you have "chosen". You continue with your hypocritical skills developing slowly when you ask you colleagues about their day, if they feel that the new coffee maker in the office is better and more efficient than the old one or harder to operate, and if they would prefer Brazil over Cuba for their next destination.

Your hypocrisy unfolds at the meeting with your boss, when he asks if everything is OK and whether you are having any difficulties for which he could provide some sort of help (since he is the greatest boss ever) and you reassure him that everything is perfect and problems at work are not something to worry about since you all work very well together, kind of like brothers and sisters. During lunchtime you hypocrisy takes over when it's time to go home and you can only think of all the unfinished to-dos you still have on your list and the importance of not letting down your boss and colleagues, who you are very fond of. You, as a master in hypocrisy, think of how much better you could work for the sake of the company if you could concentrate just a bit more.

You immediately forget about that since your hypocrisy needs to be focused elsewhere; while you walk towards your brand new Audi car, which you admit needed some intelligent use of your hypocritical skills in order to persuade the bank to give you the money, right? You drive towards home and you now think of the wonderful 4 bedroom house that you designed and built from scratch just like you BOTH always dreamt of, without compromises to each other's tastes - you see, everything is similar, even your tastes in decor. The dinner you are about to have with your perfect -middle class- family which consists of two adults and 3 wonderful, angelic, young ones, is surely the best since your favourite take-away restaurant never lets you down. Your hypocrisy needs to work a bit more now, when during dinner you can't wait to hear about your partner's day at work, your children's homework, and the shared decision about the colour of the new living room curtains.

But don't worry, because your drama doesn't stop here! You still need to persuade yourself that you and your partner are perfect for each other, since it was love at first sight, and since everybody always says how you are the ideal couple. This persuasion process has to be implemented because the day is at its end and you are tired after you had to work so hard on being hypocritical. If you don't do it though, how could you possibly lie on this gigantic bed with your other half who, by the way, still interests you sexually not only due to the 100 carat ring you both carry on your 4th finger and not due to the state/church document that's stuck in some drawer (where the hell is this document?), but because this person is the person you first fell in love with during your teenage years and they haven't changed a bit in the last 20 years you've been together, and you still enjoy each other's company.

By now, not only your hypocrisy has taken over your whole being, but maybe now you are the definition of hypocrisy in the last edition of the Oxford dictionary, since the only person you can think of while you make love to your partner is that model - what's her/his name again?- in volume 24, page 13 of a magazine that a friend sent you in one of those "very much welcomed" e-mails that you receive at work, a job which every single cell in your body hates (because you have always wanted to be a pilot- what the hell are you doing in an office?) because of the anxiety it causes you every day after waking up from a sleep full of nightmares which usually include your partner driving the Audi with the young ones at the back, leaving your favourite restaurant (after they have picked up the usual shitty food you eat every single night- aren't there any other freaking restaurants?) and driving towards your house, where all your colleagues (for whom you wouldn't really care if they went to hell since they only consume precious oxygen) are waiting to surprise you for your 4oth birthday (who told them that you wish to celebrate one more miserable day of your pathetic life?), and instead they end up crashing with high speed on your 4 bedroom house (which you passionately hate because you haven't even chosen its location) while you are standing 3 metres away laughing because the only thing you can think of right now is how well the new red living room curtains (which you haven't chosen either) go with the bloodshed you see in front of you!

This is how you live a successful, delusional life.
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Image credit:
http://www.elistmania.com/

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