Rock N' Roll Goes To Hollywood

Unavoidably and to our amusement, arts get mingled at times. Hence, actors may sometimes come to be underutilized musical talents (e.g. Johnny Depp playing with Manson) or even ridiculously lost causes (e.g. Keanu Reeves with Dogstar [?]). On the other hand, many of our beloved musicians have appeared in cameo roles through the years. While very few left history (i.e. Spinal Tap), others where forgotten or even overlooked altogether. Here is an overview of some of the cameo appearances I found quite amusing (the list is not extensive). Some are well-known, others are not, and a few of these left me with that "what the hell" expression for days...

The Darwin Awards feat. Metallica
Two guys who are desperate to get into a Metallica gig do the classic "over the fence" move - just not so successfully! Headbanging while smoking a joint while hanging from a tree is not advisable. Priceless: Lars advising on drugs and Hetfield attempting to joke!

Despite this film, Lars also appeared in the mediocre "Get him to the Greek" with an equally mediocre very brief performance!

Monsterdog feat. Alice Cooper
We know Alice is an avid horror film fan, hence his graphic live shows. Known and unknown roles in movies include "The prince of darkness", "The attic expeditions" and "Freddy's Dead: The final nightmare", in the latter as Freddy's dad. The most famous though, it's his educational speech about Milwaukee in "Wayne's world". But my favourite must be "Monsterdog" where Alice plays a pop star cum lycanthrope or werewolf if you wish. Priceless: Alice pulling off the leather pants look since forever!

XXX feat. Rammstein
Well, not exactly what you call an acting cameo appearance, nonetheless Rammstein perform in this movie the way they know best. Priceless: Budgeting Rammstein's pyro show in the production costs!

Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny feat. Ronnie James Dio
If you have yet to watch this legend of a movie I suggest you go have a brain scan. I don't know what is funnier in this movie: Meatloaf playing a conservative religious father, Jack Black's scarily identical young self, or Dave Grohl as kinky Satan. Dio's certainly not funny at all as he manages to take a silly song and turn it into an anthem!

Eat the Rich feat. the one and only Lemmy
Lemmy stole the show in many movies by just being present! Cameo appearances include "Charlie's death wish", "Airheads", "Frezno smooth", "Terror firmer" "Citizen toxie: The toxic avenger", "The curse of El Charro"... I could go on for a while. Truth is, Lemmy has no real talent in acting, obviously! But there is something about this movie. Priceless: The saxophone guys who took their roles way too seriously, considering!

Detroit Rock City feat. KISS
Who can forget this surprisingly good movie produced by Gene Simmons himself? Priceless: "Knights in Satan's Service"!

Married with Children feat. Anthrax
Quite shy within the movie world Anthrax only appeared briefly in the movie "Calendar girls" [believe it or not!]. Scott Ian also portrayed a quite convincing zombie in "The walking dead" TV series. But what can top the band's cameo appearance in "Married with children"? Priceless: Scott without a beard and Belladonna's non-aging face! Seriously, what's wrong with that guy?

Little Nicky feat. Ozzy
I wouldn't expect to ever say this but I honestly think Ozzy's got talent in acting! From his appearance in "The American way",  "The jerky boys", or his amazing performance as a reverend (no, you are not hallucinating) in "Trick or treat"....advocating against rock pornography! My own personal favourite though has to be his role in "Little Nicky" purely because I can't believe how awful that movie was and how much better Ozzy made it. Priceless: The bat incident taken to a whole new level!

Pirates of the Caribbean feat. Keith Richards 
"Does this face look like it's been to the fountain of youth?" Need I say more?

                                                                                                                                                                                            
Image credits:
http://screenrant.com/

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Aging Bodies, Aging Minds, Aging Bands

The inspiration for this piece of writing comes from a brief twitter chat I had with a dear “under-web ally” of mine (i.e. an online yet still underground co-defender of the Rock) @RockCyprus. Chatting about the recent Download 2013 line-up announcements, our conversation went something like this:

@Tzellofouska Rammstein & Maiden in one go? Surely, you don't wanna miss that! 

@RockCyprus It's been Maiden and Metallica from the 1st row in the last 2 years. Hard to beat that I'll have to have a break ;) [plus the prized possession of Kirk Hammett's guitar pick! ;)]

@Tzellofouska Metallica...Second most disappointing live band after Megadeth. And am a keen thrasher; just 20 yrs too late [ 90s vs 00s.... The price to pay for my age!]

@RockCyprus It's a big discussion, but surely Hetfield or Araya can never be 20 and alcoholics ever again ;) :D

And it went on for a few more tweets. Now, just to clarify, my aim is not to get into a discussion about disappointing live shows from [previously great yet still legendary] bands. I will only pose a few of my contemplations in the hope of initiating a healthy exchange of opinions.  

It all started with me seeing Metallica live for the first time. Then it happened again when I saw what Axl calls Guns N’ Roses nowadays. And it all happened for the third time when I saw Megadeth at this year’s Download. What a disappointment it was, I cannot emphasize enough! Performance-, passion-, stage presence-wise, you name it. 

At the time, I used to say to myself and others equally disappointed as me, that you wouldn’t expect these bands to perform to the same level as 20 years ago for example. It is of course a valid point. Or perhaps a good rationalisation of why I spent £60 on a gig that hasn’t changed me in the least. Because, you see, I only appreciate gigs that change my life, even a tiny bit at a time. I shall elaborate... 

Every band or artist has what I call a pre-defined persona. Meaning, they are known for specific elements of their live shows. Take Rammstein, for example, known for their extreme pyro shows complemented by heavy German rumblings [which I love by the way!]; or Iron Maiden with Eddie and an over-enthusiastic Mr. Dickinson; or Motörhead with their deafening decibels and a Lemmy; or even Kiss with their outdated yet oh-so-entertaining outfits; or Black Sabbath with a playful Ozzy and a quiet Iommi that communicates through the riffs. ALL bands have their pre-defined persona; from the time of their conception to today.

Now, when I go to a live show, I expect to see, feel, and experience that persona. I am easily satisfied though. Just having the opportunity to see legendary bands is an excitement on its own, considering most are at the end of the “road”. I surely don’t expect to see the SAME level of energy and passion as I see in videos of their earlier shows. Or should I?

Having been to so many gigs in the past decade alone means that I saw many of these “dinosaur” bands as people call them but not in their prime years. From this experience alone I realised that while there might be an expiration date on creativity for making good albums, passion is meant to stay put. Aging is not an excuse for a bad live for me anymore. 

If you can’t support that pre-defined persona of the band with the same level of passion anymore, just don’t bother touring; because then it shows that you are doing it purely for the cash. I’m sure Alice Cooper will retire once he’s not able to hold that boa on stage anymore. There were a few gigs that made an impact and changed me the way I wanted; Black Sabbath, Heaven & Hell, Anthrax, Motörhead, Judas Priest, AC/DC, Kiss, Rammstein, and even the remaining of The Who! One can see that age is not the point here; some of these guys get a social security check at the end of each month! 

I would love, and I’m sure I’ll have more opportunities, to see Metallica or Megadeth again so that I prove myself wrong. But in the meantime, yawning at a gig, where one of your favourites is performing, is not a very good sign. Either love what you do or quit while you can. Performing is just another job you have to enjoy doing in order to survive in this business. I will repeat: there is no such thing as aging bodies; just aging minds.

You may follow @RockCyprus  on twitter for updates on upcoming shows in Cyprus. Otherwise, just follow him anyway because he's got some great tweets!

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Image Credit:

http://www.last.fm/

http://www.collapseboard.com/

http://tzellofouska.blogspot.co.uk/

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Review of Download Festival 2012

A review of the happenings at Download Festival 2012, Donington Park, UK

ANTHRAX

Our day started with Anthrax playing a half hour show. Since it was the ¼ of the Big 4 for which I had the lesser knowledge about and also the first time I was seeing them live, I was really focused and very open to liking them. I needn’t be though. They were simply powerful. Within those 30 minutes they had us jumping up and down, commanded the crowd to form a well-rounded mosh pit, and entertained us all the way. I was especially happy when I finally heard “Indians” which was stuck in my mind for 2 months. Belladonna did his usual with security guards rushing to “save” a female colleague from his hands when he tried to shake her to the song rhythm! They also forcefully kept him from crowd surfing. Download had officially kicked off for me. I give them a 9/10 purely because it was a 30 min appearance.

BLACK LABEL SOCIETY

This was the only band I somehow wanted to see but didn't know much about them. I wasn’t expecting to be amazed nor was I particularly looking forward to see them- I was curious really. But they were good. Not being familiar with their work didn’t help much. I wasn't enthused but one thing really surprised me: how huge and what a great guitarist Zakk Wylde is. I also learned that his custom-made guitar weighs like a ton and only he can lift it! No wonders there. Unfortunately though, they didn’t make much impact on me and I was left being none the wiser about them. 6/10

LAMB OF GOD

Next, on the stage came these guys. Now, I have seen them live one more time when they opened for Heaven & Hell a few years ago. I was disappointed back then and I was disappointed this time too. The reason is simple; I just don’t fancy not being able to understand the song lyrics. Now I’m not saying they should attend a spelling bee class but seriously screaming to the crowd “sing it” and not actually singing it themselves is not much help especially to new fans! To be fair though I was biased towards not enjoying them but here is the thing. They were actually quite good, musically speaking. Their live music was arousing and many times I found myself tapping my leg and moving to the rhythm. On a different note, I seriously need to get Blythe’s vocal instructor’s number! 6.5/10

MEGADETH

One of the word composites of the above was true: DETH. I did not experience MEGA in any way. Ok, perhaps Mustaine’s hair! But honestly, I was so excited that I was going to see the Megadeth live that I think I raised my expectations way too high. For starters, I think they were brain-dead during this live. They were barely moving or even entertaining in any way. At some point we thought maybe Mustaine had to leave early for the church mass? Or perhaps his pony was missing him much? The only thing that entertained us briefly was Vic Rattlehead wandering through the stage. Anyway, I was left unimpressed and disappointed in so many ways. On the other hand, again musically speaking, I liked them a lot. I enjoyed the classics like “Peace Sells” and “Symphony of Destruction” and all in all I am glad I saw them live. Not so glad about the white shirt though. So not metal! 5/10 

FIREWIND

This was the point where grunge took over the main stage (seriously Soundgarden?) and I moved on to the smaller stages to see some other favourites. I managed to watch Firewind for a while and I can tell without a doubt that they sound even better live. Gus G did his thing as always with those magic fingers of his. On the other hand, Apollo’s vocals were astonishing. Although appearing in one of the smallest stages, it was packed and people were very enthusiastic about them. The sound was not fair to the bands but the good ones got noticed anyway. Firewind make the Greek metal scene proud for sure. 7.5/10

GHOST

I insisted on standing still for 40 minutes waiting for these guys to show up.  I don’t know what it is about Ghost, but I was hooked when I first heard them by accident on YouTube. What is their deal? What is their music about? What are they? Appearing on stage dressed up like Ku Klux Klan members with their frontman, Papa Emeritus, dressed like a catholic priest with a skull where his face should be and holding a censer blessing the crowd did not solve any of my questions. Especially when their lyrics are filled with satanic elements! Whatever they represent be it humour, irony, or simply fun, their performance was great. I mean, the vocals were magnificent. I thought I was carried by angels (or maybe demons?) into the skies on a soft cloud ! The keyboards compliment their songs so well; I don’t think I have heard anything like this before. But then again I am not into Doom that much (apparently this is their categorisation). I loved them and can’t wait to hear their second album. 8.5/10

BLACK SABBATH

And on to the legends! By this time I was so exhausted that I couldn’t wait to go to sleep. I even wondered whether seeing THE Black Sabbath live is worth all this trouble. I have already seen them once with Dio so I thought to myself: “Is Ozzy really going to hit the notes and amaze me as much as Dio did? Is Tony going to be performing at his best? Is it really Black Sabbath I am seeing without Bill?” Then the first chord struck me. They started with “Black Sabbath” which couldn’t have worked better for the explosion that was about to follow. I then forgot all about my tiredness, all the urine, shit, food waste, or anything else I might have stepped or sat on without realising, and l lended my soul to the godfathers. It was phenomenal. For many reasons. Ozzy did hit the notes despite my otherwise expectations. He ran on the stage like a 4-year old, clapped his hands, and said fuck a lot. Only he can sing metal and successfully have the crowd move rhythmically left/right instead of forming a mosh pit! And only he can get angry when he “doesn't see our fucking hands in the air” anymore. Tony was looking like the true iron man and his guitar virtuosity was unaffected. This guy is so stoic I was really surprised when the camera caught him looking at the crowd and smiling at various times during the gig. Geezer shined again as the master of the bass and he did look happy to be sharing the stage with all of them. Clufetos was hitting the drums so hard I’m sure I felt the pain too. He was unbelievable. With 150,000 people and 300,000 set of eyes all watching them I think they felt what I did; that they belong together on a stage. Not Ozzy alone, not as Heaven & Hell, but as Black Sabbath. They had great chemistry and I don’t care where it came from be it money or respect for one another. And despite the fact that only ¾ where performing, based on that performance alone, I can be honest when I say I saw Black Sabbath. 10/10

THINGS I LEARNED/REALISED AT DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL 2012:

1. Anthrax is the best out of the 3 of the “Big 4” thrash metal bands I saw live.
2. Zakk Wylde is huge and looks like a good guy to have drinks with at a strip club filled with Hell's Angels.
3. Lamb of God have great music but the sound of Blythe’s screaming and growling voice makes me yawn repeatedly.
4. Mustaine does not look good in a white shirt and his hair has more volume than his voice.
5. Firewind sound even better live and I think I am in love with Gus G.
6. Ghost is perhaps the next big thing in metal; even Anselmo said so.
7. I pity the fool that will not get the chance to experience Black Sabbath live in front of a 150,000 crowd.

Limited videos can be found here.

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