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Showing posts with label Job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Job. Show all posts

19 January 2013

"IT" Is The Life

by guest author while(TRUE){life();}

This piece is dedicated to all the engineers, tech-savvies, and geeks out there. A timeline of progress, disappointment, anger management issues, and liberation! 

The Education 
HND in Computer Engineering
BEng in Computer Engineering
MSc in Data Communication

The Student Experience 
During my years at uni I got everything that anyone could ever imagine: made good friends, was taught how to think like an engineer, did fun projects, and spent countless hours in labs (even the pizza guy learned were the labs were and came knocking on the door to deliver the usual!). My knowledge of communication systems was growing exponentially on a daily basis and something inside me was always pushing me to go the extra mile, like changing the code of a software so we can file-share with friends.

The First Job 
Junior Network Engineer: new toys, new experience, and a lot more to learn. I was working on a production system an entire company was depending on with everything working like a Swiss watch. I wish I could say that was true for me at the beginning of my career! That something inside me kept me going and going, no stop for me until I got it right; playing with new toys is like a fat kid in a candy store for an engineer (ok, ok for the sake of political correctness let’s say overweight). Within a year I became the lead, the authority on everything and anything (in engineering terms the “in case s**t man”). I was learning fast and I was having fun and I was getting paid for it as well, the trifecta for any engineer out there. Light-bulb moments were coming in thick and fast.  

The Wake-up Call 
Then a change happened. I came across office politics. I do not like office politics, I do not do office gossip, and I hate back-stabbers (that’s right, you all shall burn in hell). That is not my game, I'm an engineer, genetically programmed to look at the cold hard facts and formulate an answer to a problem. But I soon realised... office politics do work. Knowledge-less people were moving up the ladder, playing with Facebook all day long (that’s right am part of the resistance) while others dealt with problems they caused. Well, I consider them f***ing parasites! That something inside me started to get really upset. I kept everything in check, kept true and worked smart and hard.

Career Take 2
Solutions Architect: new people, new opportunities, new systems to learn. I was part of a team that were the technical experts on any technology the company had to offer. It didn't took me long, six months down the line I became the team leader, I was performing training courses from the most advanced technologies to entry-level for everyone. For any difficulty that came along, I was the answer. The trifecta was back, learning new technologies, sharing knowledge and getting paid for it. Before the year coming to an end I was awarded as one of the top business' performers.

The Games
Funny how things change though, it took a year before I started noticing the office politics again. I locked horns with one of the sales directors; these guys really don't like us! The engineer in me prevailed. Keep true I said to myself, keep true. That evil thing inside me kept growing stronger and stronger by the day though.

The Realisation
Well after that fiasco and almost two years down the line I have seen some ugly truths and even more ugly people! The same pattern over and over again, knowledge-less idiots move along the line, just by using office politics. They steal your ideas present them as their own and get the credit for it. Well that is office politics for you people. Still, there are technology companies out there that have it right and that is why they are called pioneers of technology.

Moving On 
Now I have interviews lined up and it all looks good, but that thing inside me has grown into a full figure with black attire, an army of evil, and some respiratory problems. It’s getting harder and harder to keep IT in line (see what I did there?). But its voice is always there in the background whispering... 

WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE DO HAVE COOKIES!!!
(and gaming platforms, gadgets, and loose virtual women)

                                                                                                                                                                                                      
 while(TRUE){life();} has now got a job that he is temporarily happy with. He is so intelligent as to be considered a genius by his friends who expect him to make lots of money and share the wealth with his fanclub. He is a proud geek, gamer, and spectacle-wearer and does think that geeks rule [honestly]. He is also the only member of the Facebook Résistance and quite paranoid about his digital footprint and for these reasons only you cannot really follow him anywhere. Except in real life. But that would make you a stalker. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                            
Image credits:

30 September 2011

Human Hypocrisy/ Delusional Life

I have noticed that the most common characteristic in human beings is hypocrisy, mainly towards themselves. And here is why...

Every person has the need to delude themselves during most (if not all) of their day. It starts in the morning, when you pretend to have woken up from what you consider a great sleep and you feel excitement for the day, or more specifically for the job you have "chosen". You continue with your hypocritical skills developing slowly when you ask you colleagues about their day, if they feel that the new coffee maker in the office is better and more efficient than the old one or harder to operate, and if they would prefer Brazil over Cuba for their next destination.

Your hypocrisy unfolds at the meeting with your boss, when he asks if everything is OK and whether you are having any difficulties for which he could provide some sort of help (since he is the greatest boss ever) and you reassure him that everything is perfect and problems at work are not something to worry about since you all work very well together, kind of like brothers and sisters. During lunchtime you hypocrisy takes over when it's time to go home and you can only think of all the unfinished to-dos you still have on your list and the importance of not letting down your boss and colleagues, who you are very fond of. You, as a master in hypocrisy, think of how much better you could work for the sake of the company if you could concentrate just a bit more.

You immediately forget about that since your hypocrisy needs to be focused elsewhere; while you walk towards your brand new Audi car, which you admit needed some intelligent use of your hypocritical skills in order to persuade the bank to give you the money, right? You drive towards home and you now think of the wonderful 4 bedroom house that you designed and built from scratch just like you BOTH always dreamt of, without compromises to each other's tastes - you see, everything is similar, even your tastes in decor. The dinner you are about to have with your perfect -middle class- family which consists of two adults and 3 wonderful, angelic, young ones, is surely the best since your favourite take-away restaurant never lets you down. Your hypocrisy needs to work a bit more now, when during dinner you can't wait to hear about your partner's day at work, your children's homework, and the shared decision about the colour of the new living room curtains.

But don't worry, because your drama doesn't stop here! You still need to persuade yourself that you and your partner are perfect for each other, since it was love at first sight, and since everybody always says how you are the ideal couple. This persuasion process has to be implemented because the day is at its end and you are tired after you had to work so hard on being hypocritical. If you don't do it though, how could you possibly lie on this gigantic bed with your other half who, by the way, still interests you sexually not only due to the 100 carat ring you both carry on your 4th finger and not due to the state/church document that's stuck in some drawer (where the hell is this document?), but because this person is the person you first fell in love with during your teenage years and they haven't changed a bit in the last 20 years you've been together, and you still enjoy each other's company.

By now, not only your hypocrisy has taken over your whole being, but maybe now you are the definition of hypocrisy in the last edition of the Oxford dictionary, since the only person you can think of while you make love to your partner is that model - what's her/his name again?- in volume 24, page 13 of a magazine that a friend sent you in one of those "very much welcomed" e-mails that you receive at work, a job which every single cell in your body hates (because you have always wanted to be a pilot- what the hell are you doing in an office?) because of the anxiety it causes you every day after waking up from a sleep full of nightmares which usually include your partner driving the Audi with the young ones at the back, leaving your favourite restaurant (after they have picked up the usual shitty food you eat every single night- aren't there any other freaking restaurants?) and driving towards your house, where all your colleagues (for whom you wouldn't really care if they went to hell since they only consume precious oxygen) are waiting to surprise you for your 4oth birthday (who told them that you wish to celebrate one more miserable day of your pathetic life?), and instead they end up crashing with high speed on your 4 bedroom house (which you passionately hate because you haven't even chosen its location) while you are standing 3 metres away laughing because the only thing you can think of right now is how well the new red living room curtains (which you haven't chosen either) go with the bloodshed you see in front of you!

This is how you live a successful, delusional life.

_________________________________________________________________________________
Image credit:
http://www.elistmania.com/

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