The Rolling Stones Un-reviewed

This is a belated report on the recent Rolling Stones gig I attended. Recent being July! I know, I've been really bad in keeping up with the demands of the blog; I do apologise to those very few people that check it very rarely!

Now, as per the legend it is the Stones, a review in the traditional sense is not appropriate now, is it? Still, we, common humans are entitled to an opinion (I hope).

Just to give a bit of a background, I may or may not have posted a really indignant piece on the price tags for the Stones mini-tour last year. Truth is I was broke, didn't have £300 to spare even for the Stones, and quite bitter I could not attend. Being hypocritical as we all are, I did spend money to watch them after all; this time though it was £100ish. Quite reasonable for such a legendary band, right?

This was a festival sponsored by Barclays bank (enter irony [here]) and for those unfamiliar it entails a number of useless opening bands before the good stuff come on stage. In this case the useless bit was infused with brit-pop, alt-"rock" (or whatever they are) bands.

These are bands that:

a) Somehow think that by putting a "The" in front of their name makes them reach the standards of legends like the The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, The Animals, The Who etc etc. It doesn't.

b) Probably invented the whole worthless hipster sub-culture. I am sorry BUT wearing glasses when you can see perfectly is... well.... kindly put.... messed up!

c) Sound the same. Seriously, copy.... paste.

d) Are more mundane than Steven Seagal's acting. Kidding! Who doesn't like the odd Seagal marathon with 50-year old dad.

Back to the Stones. This was their first gig in Hyde Park after 44 years. I spent about £20ish of my ticket (the part that I guess goes to the above-mentioned bands) going to the toilet, queuing for beer, eating, relaxing, posing for photographs (!) and trying not to listen to background noise! I do have to admit Mr. Gary Clark Jnr., probably the only one worth seeing, was there and also played on stage with the Stones. For the blues fans out there, search for him, he is kind of amazing.

This is what I've been doing while "The" bands played; Unflattering, annoyed, beer-filled poses!

The Rolling Stones...What a show! Not surprisingly, they were (ridiculously) incredible. Charlie played the drums like the veteran that he is and Ronnie was being The Ronnie from all the legendary "The" bands he was part of in the past. Mick sang and danced and played his harmonica like he had the lungs of a 17 year old. Seriously, that energy, those moves! I thought he may dislocate a hip before the end of the gig but how wrong I was; that guy is F-I-T physically and vocally. And Keith, aka Keef, played his skillful blues, wore a green jacket, and kept being as cool as always. He is officially the best ancient "thing" I've seen live in my life. And I've seen lots of ancients like Ozzy, Lemmy, Tyler, Dio* and the lot.

All in all, I feel honoured and very very lucky that I got to see them. I felt like this was my last chance and I managed to do it! Now, considerably poorer from all the summer festivals, I get to take a break from gigs for a while. Ok, perhaps not that long; maybe 'till November when Lemmy comes back.

[*Disclaimer: Dio was and will forever be my top gig-attendance accomplishment. Period.] 

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Review of Download Festival 2013

A review of the happenings at Download Festival 2013, Saturday 15th, Donington Park, UK

This year I almost didn't go. Yeah, I know! What was I thinking, right? Well, the line-up was average, money was tight, and our group was minimizing. Damn you economic depression! But then I thought: Iron Maiden. And I went. We stayed in the Main Stage for the whole day because of the mud, rain, wind, and errr the poor line-up I mentioned above. Sadly, we missed UFO and got in just in time for the the rest.

BLACK STAR RIDERS (AKA THIN LIZZY)

The latest incarnation of Thin Lizzy. I had no idea they changed their name and re-introduced themselves as such! I saw Thin Lizzy back in 2011 at High Voltage festival and enjoyed them very much. This time, refreshed I guess by the recent name change was no different. It took me a while to realise I was listening to and watching Thin Lizzy to be honest. They were quite good although lacking the energy I saw in 2011. Old age you say? Bollocks I say! I'd give them a 7/10 purely because of the short time slot which didn't allow them to play a longer setlist. It seems the boys never left town after all!

MASTODON 

Trying to decide between them and Katatonia, we decided to go for them. I wanted to see Mastodon for a while so it was the perfect chance. I don't claim to be a huge fan as I don't follow them too much but their latest album was really good. By the end of their set I was neither impressed nor disappointed which says a lot. I was left feeling indifferent and only slightly more interested in them. They were good but lacked enthusiasm. Despite that, I would see them again just in case! I give them a 6/10 with the hope that next time they'll surprise me more. By the way, they are a weird-looking bunch of guys aren't they?

ALICE IN CHAINS

Yeah what a surprise. Me, watching a grunge band. I liked Alice in Chains and although I don't enjoy grunge I always wanted to see them. The people there seemed to enjoy them so that says more than I can say. After listening about bones, rivers, brains and some roosters I catch my self yawning repeatedly. Sorry guys as much as you hate to admit it you are a grunge band and definitely not metal. There is so much grunge you can listen before you end up either brain-dead or killing your self because there is no hope left. I give Alice in Chains a 7/10 because they had good energy (only as much energy a grunge band can have!) and made people go nuts.

MOTORHEAD

 By this time you'd think "why did she even bother going then?". Here's your answer. Lemmy!!! Oh, and the waiting around impatiently was so worth it. Motorhead managed to do what none of the previous bands did; wake us up with a sound punch in the face. This year's Download suffered a lot from sound problems as the strong winds and rain did not make it easy for our ears. Lemmy fixed it. He turned up the volume to 11 and played his heart out. You'd probably say I'm very subjective as I'm known to be in love with Mr. Kilmister but I dare anybody to give me an example of a gig feat. Motorhead that they did not like. Lemmy talked to us but we did not understand. Then Lemmy played his bass and sang his songs and we didn't care about anything anymore. The special appearance of Phil Taylor was a pleasant surprise. The setlist was less than enough and I felt desperate thinking of what was to follow.  After all, they are Motorhead and they play rock n' roll and they always get a 10/10.

Rhetorical questions from our group expressed that night: Isn't Lemmy ready to settle yet? If diabetes didn't make Lemmy stop drinking what would? Is Motorhead's tour bus full of Jack Daniels, cokes, and Big Bang Theory box sets? Was there any single person who managed to get Lemmy drunk? How come Lemmy is still so humble?  Are Motorhead deaf yet? 

QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE

What a load of bullshit! What the hell is wrong with the Download organisers? Is it JUST me that believes bands like them don't belong in Download main stage line-ups? Especially before Iron Maiden and after (!) Motorhead! Honestly, I really don't get it. I spent that time sat down resting my legs, preparing mentally for Iron Maiden, re-filling my pint, and voiding my bladder! And they were still playing after all these. Sorry Queens of the Stone Age fans out there, this band sucks, big time. I won't bother rating the experience as I blocked the noise out. Photo is included for the sake of the review.

IRON MAIDEN

The legends! As their status requires, they were introduced by a spitfire which we thought was piloted by Bruce himself. Then they enter the stage and history is written. Whatever I say about them is not going to be enough really. I screamed and screamed 'till no voice was left. I danced around, banged my head, and smiled 'till my jaw went numb! The energy, the pyro, the show, the setlist, the Eddie re-incarnations, their brilliance! The show was not enough. I wanted more. Do I need to mention I give them a 10/10? Steve Harris is genius. Who writes songs like these? And Bruce... What Bruce's voice may be lacking nowadays (always in relation to when he was younger) he makes up for in energy, stage presence, enthusiasm, and all-round excellence! Sometimes I do wonder if Bruce managed to find that fountain of youth that Captain Sparrow was looking for. He is too good to be true, is he not?

THINGS I LEARNED/REALISED AT DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL 2013:

1. I prefer my metal pure.
2. Download gets less and less creative in it's line-ups.
3. Mastodon is a really good band but they seriously need to re-think those hairstyles.
4. Grunge is definitely not my cup of tea. Definitely.
5. Lemmy must be god. He subtly proves it every time he picks his bass and steps on the stage.
6. I want to know what it is that people like about Queens of the Stone Age as I personally don't get it.
7. There should be a National Iron Maiden day declared in the UK. Just because you people are so lucky they are British.
8. I could imagine myself putting a food stall and selling souvlaki next to the main stage at some point in the future!
9. Once a year is not enough; make Donwload a twice-a-year happening.

Limited videos arriving soon on my YouTube channel here.

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Stone-Rolling the Money Dough

Yes I am pissed off. Who wouldn't be? But not with the band. Not really.

I am talking of course about the "outrageous" ticket prices for The Rolling Stones gigs. First, let's get things straight. They are The Rolling Stones and, yes, a logical person would have expected the ticket prices to be as high as they are. I mean, come on, did you really think you can watch the Stones for free? Have you heard about a thing called money? You know, the most important thing in the world, the moving force? No? Then take some socio-economical lessons, or simply look around you.

I don't understand how would anyone think the Stones are above money; why would they be? Sure, you paid for their food in the last 50 years [and their Bentley, their villas, their drugs etc] but didn't you get something in return? Records, cassettes, CDs, gig experiences. This is a two-way process, they offer a "service" for your money. It is an exchange; you pay, you get. You did not "make them a favour" as I heard many say. The only favour you make, is to yourself; passing through life with a good taste in music.

Now that I cleared things in that front, I'll move to the angry part. Of course, I am angry. But as I said not with the band or the ticket prices. And here I mean the prices as set by the Stones management and not the re-sell ones. As a logical person would do [and I do not praise myself here], I set a limit on how much I was willing to pay to see them live. I said, given my current circumstances, I'd pay a maximum of £250, the approximate price for a festival ticket. 'Cause lets face it, the Stones are worth 100 bands together. Yet I wouldn't pay significantly more than I paid for the legend that it is Bob Dylan, or Black Sabbath, or even Dio.

BUT! As it happened with the Zeppelin tickets, the posh "disagreeable persons" (that is the kindest version of the word assholes) and the ticket touts got them all. As a fan, I made sure I got access to the pre-sale by hunting down my O2 friends for their "priority" benefits. Priority my ass! It shouldn't surprise me that my "connection is down", or that their "server is down", or that I "have been placed in a queue", or even that my "request is being processed" while all the touts with their tricks, fiber-optic broadband, and hundreds of staff, where already purchasing all the lower priced tickets and re-selling them for 4 times their face value.

Unsurprisingly, same thing happened on the general sale day. And I ask! Why do we, the fans, allow this to happen? These people put a £106 ticket for £19,000!!! Seriously, instead of boycotting the gig, why not boycott these websites? You are part of the problem, so stop complaining about the prices when you would happily pay these websites your money on other occasions. If the price is right [and I mean face value] go for it. But stop being hypocritical... It's all about the money after all, be it selling or buying.

The best solution for me is The Rolling Stones playing a three-day festival-like gig somewhere in a big empty space where 400,000 people could attend each day; not the O2 "arena". Do the maths: nearly a million proper fans [cause the posh disagreeable persons would not go into the muddy fields even for a Stones gig] each paying £100, and the Stones having a cash in of more millions they can ever spend in their remaining years! And that's just in UK. But hey, what do I know, right?

In the meantime, I take control of my rage, wish The Rolling Stones good luck with their gig and with having Paris Hilton and all the other "disagreeables" in the front row (!), and head off to buy my Alice Cooper Halloween tickets for no more than £44 per head!

See you on the next Pirates of the Caribbean Keef!
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Image credits:
http://www.billboard.com
http://noisey.vice.com

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Gigs, Cameras, and Weird Smells

Filming at gigs. I know, I know... Annoying, right? And probably illegal!

Some will argue that taking pictures and video-recording at gigs and festivals are the definition of "uncoolness".

Hey asshole you are blocking my view

You are standing there in the crowd, at a hotspot you guarded for two hours in advance, waiting for the curtain to fall. Everybody around you becomes restless as the allowed 15 minute window of opportunity for bands to show up before everybody starts to swear (obviously not applicable to Guns N' Roses), is coming to an end. Then it happens. Just seconds before the opening drum beat, the clicking noises and the blinding flashes, torture to your senses. Hands are in the air in various arrangements, some forming fists, the sign of the horns, and others clicking away relentlessly. Point is, you cannot see beyond hands holding cameras, so you may as well count on your sense of hearing (whatever's left from it!).

The a-live experience

Between the smell of sweat (especially if good old nature and genetics have not been kind to you and you are lucky enough to be of, what I call, "armpit-level height"), blood, and the odd fart, the experience of being part of such a large mass and the live on-stage performance can be a natural high - without the drugs. You ought to enjoy what you see and hear because lets face it, you probably paid a respectable amount of money to be there.

Talent unfolding

Guitar solos, unbelievable drumming, out of this world vocals, outrageous outfits, pyros, laser lights, moving stages.... I could go on for a while here. Most acts sing and play their hearts out for our, the fans', own pleasure (and money of course). Naturally, clapping  and cheering should not be replaced by clicking.

Despite all the above, not all have the money to buy all the brilliantly filmed yet significantly over-priced DVDs companies produce. I am, personally, not satisfied by just living the experience and from time to time I like to watch my well-organised collection of videos. Who wouldn't want to have a personally-filmed video collection of the late legend RJ Dio? [sigh] And lets face it. Most of the legends we now see live on stage (be it the "last" tour or reunion) will either be to old to rock or dead by the time my biological clock ticks! I want my children to have something from my "era" which signifies the hand over of the "Metal flag" from the godfathers and godmothers of Rock N' Roll to the newbies. 

Weeeeell, you've probably realised that I am one of those annoying people you see at gigs filming their hearts out! Before you start sending hate-mail though, I ought to say; I have been to many gigs in the past where I have not filmed nor photographed a single movement coming from the stage area. I have been part of wild masses (thanks to the Greeks!) where I was knocked to the ground by over-enthusiastic fans, and had my fair share of "wholesome" gig experiences. 

During my 10 or more years of experiences like these, I managed to develop a set of internal rules (i.e. never actually put in a list until now) for practising two interests at the same time, photography/filming and gig-going with minimal intrusion and maximum enjoyment! Here it is:

1. Choose your spot

As I wouldn't want to be the one sworn at for blocking the view and due to my limitations in the height domain I usually choose seating at gigs. Therefore, I can just rest the camera on my knees and film away freely without loosing the feeling in my hands and subsequently skipping the trendiness of what it has recently become the listening to Heavy Metal, meaning "a youth gone wild", with their ridiculous yelling and screaming.  

2. Know what to record

I would not recommend filming the whole gig as it is tiring and you end up loosing the meaning of the whole thing. The key is to film your favourite songs and skip the mainstream ones, unless only those ones are indeed your favourites in which case you are probably part of the "youth gone wild" described above.

3. Delegate where appropriate

A technique that works wonders is to delegate the responsibility of the filming to your partner or a friend who are not particularly into this kind of music but go along with you as a favour! Then you are free to go as wild as you want or can. [Special thanks to my special person are in order here]

4. Do it properly

If you are going to film, do it properly. That means buying a good camera, managing to hide it successfully through the security checks, and recording good quality videos. Nobody wants to watch  a shaky amateur video on YouTube! You will experience the odd Parkinson's-like shake, bums of people walking in front of you etc but at least the picture and sound should be clear. And lets not forget: record whole songs not just intros or choruses!

5. Do it for fun

If you are doing it to just show off to your friends, you are a dumb-ass! [Sorry, but you are] Do it because you enjoy it or if you are emotionally tied to collecting souvenirs of your experiences.

In this era of digital revolution, filming at gigs cannot be avoided or even banished altogether despite various attempts by promoters. If you are like me and you still want to do it, learn to respect the others around you. And don't forget, a gig or a festival is a collective experience, so don't immerse yourself in your filming otherwise you will indeed loose the whole point, be it smelly armpits, beer showers, screams to the point of hear-loss, pushing, grabbing and all the good stuff that come with it! That is  the point anyway.

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Image credits:

http://www.metalsucks.net/

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